Page 51 - DIVA_2_2015

SUBJUNCTIVES

"Sliorild we dance?" asked the gown and long gloves. I sl'iorild
distiiyiislied potentate witli the heavy add, given Joe Public's tendency
vowels and even lieavier facial hair sit- to believe tliat diplomats spend
ting 0111117 riglit at the dinner table. all tlieir time and tlie tax payer's

money absorbing vintage cliam-
Tlie "sliorild" set me back somewhat. pagne and knocking back caviar

"Sliould" implies a feeling of obliga- by tlie sorip-spooi'ifril, tliat it
tion to wliich a gracioris "I would love was all in aid of a Good Carise.
to" miglit not be tlie desired response.
It implies tliat lie considered he ought 'fA waltz worild be splendid,"
to get up and dance but worild really I said understandingly.
be far happier just concentrating on "Followed by an Allemande just
tlie conversation and the remaining to sliow tliem IIOW it's done."
alcoliolic beverages, tliougli n'iost defin-
itely not in tliat order. 011 tlie otlier He slid a little lower into liis seat and "I wonder," I said, witli all tlie cliarm
liand, a reply along tlie lines of "Not twirled a moristaclie or two. For a I could n'iuster, "wlietlier you would
r'inless yori so desire" was, I conside- minute I tlioriglit of letting liim off be so kind as to explain in a little more

red, a little too unentluisiastic -- a tlie liook and feigning a sprained an- detail to wliat tlie aims of your cliarity
sort of "not unless I really must" kind kle before it was too late. If I timed it aspire?"
of answer, sending tlie message tliat rigl'it, it corild also save ris botli a lot of
I liad 110 great rirge to comply. And money liaving to bid for liorrendorisly Tlie syntax liad him floored. He'd
an)rway, I love dancing, so I jumped expei'isive items for wliicli neitlier already been knocked off balance by
in witli botli left feet and said most of LIS had any use wliatsoever. Otlier- tliat subjunctive, after all. Avoiding tlie
empliatically, "Yes, I tliink we miglit!" wise known as Tlie Cliarity Auction. rise of a preposition to end a sentence
We mulled over tlie options in silence was beyond liim.

He munclied all his petit forirs in wliile a sympatlietic waiter sensing,
contemplative fashion wliilst lie consid- perliaps, tlie tension, discreetly refil- "What?" he barked.
ered the implications of tlie rinexpec- led our glasses. Or possibly lie was
ted sribjrinctive. He drained the last rinder instruction from the organizers "Tliis Cliarity," I insisted, "wliat preci-
of liis cliampagne and studied tlie list to keep all tlie guests well lribricated in sely does it DO?"
of unbelievably complicated options tlie interest of stimulating their gener-
listed 011 tlie dance card in front of osity and contributing to tl-ie Good Tlie waiter hovered. Sriddenly we had
liim. Cause with gay abandon. I confess tliat two full glasses in front of ris wliere
I personally was a little confused as to tlie empty ones liad been standing.
"Perhaps," lie said, and I lieard a wliat exactly tlie Cause in Question
note of despair creep into liis voice, consisted of, and was busy formulating "Wliat Cliarity?" lie asked.
"perliaps we could sit out tlie Cotil- a liiglily discreet enqriiry wl'iich miglit
Ion and tlie Quadrille and wait for tlie allow me to gleai'i some further inside I place the dance card under his nose,
Viennese Waltz?" information. My potentate, according avoiding a near collision as he reached
to page two of tlie daiice card, appeared for his glass.
It was, yori rinderstand, tl'iat sort of to be 011 tlie Board of wliatever it was,
party -- A Period Ball. Wliilst I nlY- so tact and diplomacy would have to "What is it, sort of, for? Exactly. If you
self liad not gone so far as to hire a be at a maximum. One did not confess see wliat I mean?" I was gulping a lyit

wig or a costrune, I liad spent two to a Member of tlie Board tliat one liad by tliis stage, but l'ie just stared at tlie
solid hours at tlie liairdresser's having 110 idea wliat one was supposed to be card as if he'd never seen it before in

ln'37 normally straiglit locks twisted supporting. liis life.
into corkscrews and was sporting a
Swarovski hairband in lieu of a tiara. Tlie Cotillon came to an end and tliey "No idea," lie said. "Sliall we waltz?"
Also I liad painted 1117 nails a fetcliing were lining rip for the (uadrille. Not

sliade of prirple wliicli I lioped would a moment to be lost. I took a last des
take people's mixid off l]'lY not-at-all- perate swig from tlie glass and prepa-
period-brit-at-least-matcliing ball red to ooze witli tact and discretion.

Ambassadress 49