Page 3 - Parenting-activity example

Parenting Styles: Raising a “Whole” Child

What’s your style of parenting? We need to remember that every person is a whole package. We can’t just take care of a child’s
physical health without thinking about how to build their emotional, mental, and spiritual health as
There are four common styles most parents have when dealing with kids. While we don’t each fall well. Here are some suggestions for ways to support your child:
neatly into one of these categories, knowing your primary style and using some methods from the
others can help you be a better parent. „ Set expectations– Set up boundaries for connected to other people. Kisses and hugs,
behavior and things you expect your child to affectionate touches or a pat on the back help
If B is your answer, you are accomplish. This could be treating others kids connect with their emotions.
Your child comes to you in a panic before school and
says he has a lot of work to do on a big project due Permissive. You really love your with respect, getting grades of B or better in „ Get exercising– Physical exercise helps your body
tomorrow - it’s worth 20% of his grade. This is the kids and want to give them school, or following household rules. stay healthy. Help your child choose activities they
first time you’ve heard about it. What do you say? what they want and be happy. „ You get what you give– If you give your kids like that will keep them active.
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A . “You’ve known about this for how long? You better The problem with always giving time, respect, love, religious traditions, etc., „ Accept and acknowledge emotions– Kids need
be home on time and get it done tonight. Then in? Kids start to feel like they your kids learn these things and follow your to learn how to handle their emotions, both happy
you’re grounded for the rest of the week!” deserve it, and they may get what examples. and sad. When you recognize them,
they want, but not what they need- like
B. “That’s a lot of work. Let me know what supplies self-restraint, patience, or thinking about „ Build confidence– Spend time together, get you teach your children ways to
you need and I’ll pick them up. Don’t worry, I’ll involved with them in their interests, create understand and deal with them
help you get it done.” other people. trust, and give them positive words when too.
C. “I’d help you tonight, but I need to work late. I If you answered C, you are Uninvolved. they do something good.
hope the teacher gives some extra credit so you You don’t give much guidance or help, Source: Dr. Caron Goode, founder
can bring your grade up.” so kids tend to learn through experience, „ Give lots of touches and affection– of the Academy for Coaching
Kids need to be touched to feel
Parents, Intl
D. “Let me know what supplies you need. I’ll help taking the consequences of their actions. For Evaluation Only
you plan how you’ll get it done. Then let’s figure You are helping your child be more Exercise: Turning Off Negative Comments
out how to take the next big project and break independent, but sometimes you need to
it down into smaller tasks so you don’t feel so help them out because they are still kids, What phrases do you remember hearing from your parents when you were growing up? “If I didn’t love you,
overwhelmed.” not mini-adults. I wouldn’t feed you.” “You’re fat and stupid.” “Great Job... I’m proud of you!” “Why aren’t you more like your
brother?” “You look really nice today.” “Thank you!”
If you picked A, you are Authoritarian. You If you answered D, you are Authoritative. You
are in charge, and what you say goes. You expect a lot from your kids, but you can say Write down a few of the negative ones you remember, then write down what you wish your parents had said
instead.
are not as concerned about how your child No. You work to set an example of being calm, Negative Comment: I Wanted to Hear:
feels, but that they do what they are told. You kind, and take time to listen to your child’s
don’t always want to be liked, you expect to be point of view. You try to figure out the reasons
respected. In an authoritarian house kids may behind the behaviors and deal with the real
not be able to speak up or think for themselves, issues. This style takes the most energy, time
or they are afraid of the consequences so they and self-control and is the most effective
don’t communicate. You need to be able to parenting style for raising healthy kids.
show your love too.