Page 27 - All Parenting Pamphlets 2016_Flat
P. 27
What I Need From My Mom and Dad Exercise - What’s Working Now?
Think of your divorce from your child’s point of view: Whether you are just facing separation or have been divorced for several years, it helps
I need both of you to stay involved in my life. to take a realistic look at where you are now, what areas of your life are working well, and
where you have challenges. For each of the main topics below, rate your current status
Please stop fighting and work hard to get along (Good, OK, Help!) List any issues you have, and what action you can take to help the
with each other. situation get better.
I want to love you both and enjoy the time that I spend with each of you. Current
Please communicate directly with my other parent so that I don’t have to send messages back Topics Status Issues Action to Take
and forth.
Basic Needs
When talking about my other parent, please say only nice things, or don’t say anything at all. Housing
Please remember that I want both of you to be a part of my life. Food and clothing
Childcare
Source: University of Missouri My job
Co-Parenting Child support payments / Alimony
Working with Your Ex My health and emotional needs
If you have joint physical custody, with your kids
It’s not always easy to talk to your ex, especially sharing equal time with your ex, then you’ve Physical health
if you still don’t get along. Try to remember to made a commitment to get along with your ex Emotional support
put the needs of your children first above your and put the kids first. Here are ideas to make this Other realtionships / dating
feelings. Communicating with my Ex
transition work better for your kids.
Stick to business– Keep your conversation Try to have consistent rules– kids do better About finances and support
focused on the kids. You don’t need to when the basic rules of homework, bedtime, Decision making with my ex
Communicating about the kids
bring up your personal life and challenges. curfew etc. are the same in both houses. The Scheduling transitions
Make requests instead of demands– same goes for punishment. If Joe has lost TV My relationship to my kids
“Could we do...” instead of “You need to privileges in one house, he should lose it in the
...” People get less defensive. other. Daily life at home
Routines/ Discipline
Remind kids a day or two in advance of the
Show restraint– Don’t push your ex’s Issues with the divorce
buttons and don’t react when yours are visit– Give your kids time to mentally get ready Extra responsibilities
to make the shift. Pack in advance and be
pushed. (You know what they are!) ready to go. Kids relationship with Ex
Relax a little– Kids aren’t a possession, Maintain a routine– Routines give kids Involvement of my Ex in their lives
be willing to be a little flexible. If your ex stability and they do better knowing what’s Differences between households
needs an extra hour for a special event expected.
with your child, give it to her. She will be Respect your ex– So, they don’t do things in Visitation
more likely to be flexible in return, and it’s exactly the same way at his house - don’t try to Transitioning issues
in the best interest of your child. control the situation, as long as your kids are Challenges before or after visit
safe and you agree on the basics, be flexible.
