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Time Out!                                     When Brothers and Sisters Fight                                               Kids learn to resolve conflicts by watching



                                                       You may find your children fighting and arguing                                others. Whether it’s the people on a TV      Parenting
              „ Plan ahead for ways to manage your stress   among themselves one day, and best friends the next.                      program, their friends, teachers, or you.
             and keep your cool when you start getting   Conflict between siblings is very common. So why are                          Handling conflict is a very important set of   No. 6
             angry. Take a walk, have someone who can   they fighting?                                                                 skills that children need to learn as they
             watch your kids for a while, stop and listen     „ Jealousy and competition–                                              grow to become adults. Your child will have
             to music or scrub the kitchen floor! You      Kids compete for possessions,                                                conflicts with you, their friends, teachers,
             need to have a good outlet for your excess    time to do things, your attention                                            peers, authorities, and with themselves.
             feelings and emotions too!                    and your praise.                                          Knowing how to keep your cool, when to stand your ground,

              „ If conflicts become violent, you need to    „ Things are not fair– Someone              and how to settle differences is a powerful tool. There is always more than
             protect yourself and others and get help      gets more than the other.                    one way to solve a problem besides physically fighting, name calling, and
             from a doctor, case worker, counselor,        „ Resentment– Caused by having               hurting the other person. Your job is to help you kids learn to get along with
             parents, and friends.                         to take care of younger siblings, having more  other people and solve their conflicts in a positive way.
                                                           responsibilities or privileges than another.

                                                           „ Different personalities– Kids can clash when
                                                           their moods and temperaments are different.                                                   The Basic Rules
               Try This at Home...                                                                      Reality Check...
                                                       So, what do you do as the parent?                                                            Here are the basic rules for
              If everyone is whining and                                                                                                            working and playing with                  Conflict In the Family
              complaining, set a certain time where        „ Try to let them settle it on their own– Keep kids                                      others. It really works for
                                                           physically safe, but when you act as the referee
              everyone gets a chance to complain           each time, kids will come to expect it.                                                  resolving most adult conflicts
              about something. Put a time limit                                                         8   NEVER use physical, verbal or           as well if we just follow and
              on it- 1-3 minutes. Everyone listens         „ When you do get involved– Separate them for   emotional abuse with your children or    pay attention!
                                                           cool down time, try to create a win-win situation
              to the complaint. This gives kids a          where both sides get something, don’t spend     your partner.
              formal time to complain and vent             too much time placing blame, it won’t always be   8   Find ways to calm down when you are     „ Take turns.
              their frustrations, and gives you and        “fair,” so help your kids learn to deal with this.   angry.                                  „ Play fair.
              others a chance to listen, empathize,        „ Prevent fights in advance– If you see problems  8   Be sure to listen to the other person and     „ Use your words.
              give advice, and talk about it.              coming, like fighting over TV time, make a      try to look at it from their point of view.    „ Listen to others.
                                                           schedule in advance.                         8   Remember, you are the parent, you need      „ Say it nicely.

                                                                                                           to set the example for how to behave
                                                          Disclaimer:                                      when conflicts happen.                       „ Apologize.
                                                          Learnovation®, LLC’s mission is to empower people to improve                                  „ Share.
                                                          their own parenting skills. This information is intended to serve   8   Watch your body language. People will
                                  ®
                   ©2016 Learnovation , LLC All Rights Reserved.  as a general guide of parenting principles and strategies. It is not   listen to it more than your words.     „ Do a favor for
                                www.learnovation.com      intended to address individual parenting issues, nor should it be                            someone else.
                                                          taken as legal, personal, or other advise.
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