Page 174 - How to Write and Publish a Scientific Paper, 8th Edition 8th Edition

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Chapter 32
Use and Misuse of English

Long words name little things. All big things have little names, such as life and death, peace and war, or dawn, day, night, love, home. Learn
to use little words in a big way—It is hard to do. But they say what you mean. When you don't know what you mean, use big words: They often
fool little people.
—SSC BOOKNEWS, July 1981

Keep It Simple

In the earlier chapters of this book, I presented an outline of the various components that could and perhaps should go
into a scientific paper. Perhaps, with this outline, the paper won't quite write itself. But if this outline, this table of
organization, is followed, I believe that the writing might be a good deal easier than otherwise.

Of course, you still must use the English language. For some of you, this may be difficult. If your native language is
not English, you may have a problem. Stapleton's (1987) Writing Research Papers: An Easy Guide for Non-Native-
English Speakers might be helpful. If your native language is English, you still may have a problem because the
native language of many of your readers is not English.

Learn to appreciate, as most managing editors have learned to appreciate, the sheer beauty of the simple declarative
sentence. You will then avoid most serious grammatical problems and make it easier for people whose native
language is not English.

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Split Infinitives, Dangling Modifiers, and Other Crimes

It is not always easy to recognize a split infinitive or a dangling participle or gerund, but you can avoid many
problems by giving proper attention to syntax. The word "syntax" refers to that part of grammar dealing with the way
in which words are put together to form phrases, clauses, and sentences. According to Will Rogers: "Syntax must be
bad, having both sin and tax in it."

That is not to say that a well-dangled participle or other misplaced modifier isn't a joy to behold, after you have
developed a taste for such things. The working day of a managing editor wouldn't be complete until he or she has
savored such a morsel as "Lying on top of the intestine, you will perhaps make out a small transparent thread."
(Syntactically, this sentence could not be more wrong. The very first word in the sentence, "Lying," modifies the very
last word, "thread.")
Those of you who use chromatographic procedures may be interested in a new technique reported in a manuscript
submitted to the Journal of Bacteriology: "By filtering through Whatman no. 1 filter paper, Smith separated the
components."

Of course, such charming grammatical errors are not limited to science. I was reading a mystery novel, Death Has
Deep Roots by Michael Gilbert, when I encountered a particularly sexy misplaced modifier: "He placed at Nap's
disposal the marriage bed of his eldest daughter, a knobbed engine of brass and iron."

A Hampshire, England, fire department received a government memorandum seeking statistical information. One of
the questions was, "How many people do you employ, broken down by sex?" The fire chief took that question right in
stride, answering "None. Our problem here is booze."

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