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expressive even though they were blissfully unaware of the rule against double negatives. One evening at the local
gathering place, appropriately named the Farmer's Tavern, I orated at the man on the next bar stool about the relative
demerits of the two presidential candidates. His lack of interest was then communicated in the clear statement: "Ain't
nobody here knows nothin' about politics." While I was savoring this triple negative, a morose gent at the end of the
bar looked soulfully into his beer and proclaimed: "Ain't nobody here knows nothin' about nothin' nohow." Strangely,
this quintuple negative provided the best description I have ever heard of my hometown.

Metaphorically Speaking

Although metaphors are not covered by the above rules, I suggest that you watch your similes and metaphors. Use
them rarely in scientific writing. If you use them, use them carefully. We have all seen mixed metaphors and noted
how comprehension gets mixed along with the metaphor. (Figure this one out: A virgin forest is a place where the
hand of man has never set foot.) A rarity along this line is a type that I call the "self-cancelling metaphor." The
favorite in my collection was ingeniously concocted by the eminent microbiologist L. Joe Berry. After one of his
suggestions had been quickly negated by a committee vote, Joe said, "Boy, I got shot down in flames before I ever got
off the ground."

Watch for hackneyed expressions. These are usually similes or metaphors (e.g., timid as a mouse). Interesting and
picturesque writing results from the use of fresh similes and metaphors; dull writing results from the use of stale ones.

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Some words have become hackneyed, usually by being hopelessly locked to some other word. One example is the
word "leap"; a "leap" is insignificant unless it is a "quantum leap." Another example is the verb "wreak." One can
"wreak havoc'' but nothing else seems to get wreaked these days. Since the dictionary says that "wreak" means "to
bring about," one should be able to "wreak a weak pain for a week." To wreak a wry smile, try saying "I've got a
weak back." When someone asks when you got it, you respond "Oh, about a week back." (At the local deli, we call
this tongue in cheek on wry.) That person may then respond "Wow. That boggles the mind." You can then cleverly
ask what else gets boggled these days.

Misuse of Words

Also watch for self-cancelling or redundant words. I recently heard someone described as being a "well-seasoned
novice." A newspaper article referred to "young juveniles." A sign in a stamp and coin dealer's shop read "authentic
replicas." If there is any expression that is dumber than "7 a.m. in the morning," it is "viable alternative." (If an
alternative is not viable, it is not an alternative.)

Certain words are wrongly used thousands of times in scientific writing. Some of the worst offenders are the
following:

amount. Use this word when you refer to a mass or aggregate. Use number when units are involved. "An amount of
cash" is all right. "An amount of coins" is wrong.

and/or. This is a slipshod construction used by thousands of authors but accepted by few experienced editors.
Bernstein (1965) said, "Whatever its uses in legal or commercial English, this combination is a visual and mental
monstrosity that should be avoided in other kinds of writing."

case. This is the most common word in the language of jargon. Better and shorter usage should be substituted: "in this
case" means "here"; "in most cases" means "usually"; "in all cases" means "always"; "in no case" means "never."

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