Page 186 - How to Write and Publish a Scientific Paper, 8th Edition 8th Edition

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1. Let sleeping dogs lie.

2. Curiosity killed the cat.

3. When the cat's away, the mice will play.

4. An apple a day keeps the doctor away.

5. You can't teach old dogs new tricks.

6. A rolling stone gathers no moss.

7. Don't beat a dead horse.

Bureaucratese

Regrettably, too much scientific writing fits the first and third definitions ofj argon. All too often, scientists write like
the legendary Henry B. Quill, the bureaucrat described by Meyer (1977): "Quill had mastered the mother tongue of
government. He smothered his verbs, camouflaged his subjects and hid everything in an undergrowth of modifiers. He
braided, beaded and fringed, giving elaborate expression to negligible thoughts, weasling [sic], hedging and
announcing the obvious. He spread generality like flood waters in a long, low valley. He sprinkled everything with
aspects, feasibilities, alternatives, effectuations, analyzations, maximizations, implementations, contraindications and
appurtenances. At his best, complete immobility set in, lasting sometimes for dozens of pages."

Some jargon, or bureaucratese, is made up of clear, simple words, but, when the words are strung together in
seemingly endless profusion,

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their meaning is not readily evident. Examine the following, an important federal regulation (Code of Federal
Regulations, Title 36, Paragraph 50.10) designed to protect trees from injury; this notice was posted in National
Capital Park and Planning Commission recreation areas in the Washington area:

TREES, SHRUBS, PLANTS, GRASS
AND OTHER VEGETATION

(a) General Injury. No person shall prune, cut, carry away, pull up, dig, fell, bore, chop, saw, chip, pick, move, sever, climb, molest, take,
break, deface, destroy, set fire to, burn, scorch, carve, paint, mark, or in any manner interfere with, tamper, mutilate, misuse, disturb or
damage any tree, shrub, plant, grass, flower, or part thereof, nor shall any person permit any chemical, whether solid, fluid or gaseous to
seep, drip, drain or be emptied, sprayed, dusted or injected upon, about or into any tree, shrub, plant, grass, flower or part thereof except
when specifically authorized by competent authority; nor shall any person build fires or station or use any tar kettle, heater, road roller or
other engine within an area covered by this part in such a manner that the vapor, fumes or heat therefrom may injure any tree or other
vegetation.

(TRANSLATION: Don't mess with growing things.)
Jargon does not necessarily involve the use of specialized words. Faced with a choice of two words, the jargonist
always selects the longer one. The jargonist really gets his jollies, however, by turning short, simple statements into a
long string of words. And, usually, the longer

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