Page 127 - swanns-way
P. 127

fore I could touch it, just as an incandescent body which
         is  moved  towards  something  wet  never  actually  touches
         moisture,  since  it  is  always  preceded,  itself,  by  a  zone  of
         evaporation. Upon the sort of screen, patterned with differ-
         ent states and impressions, which my consciousness would
         quietly unfold while I was reading, and which ranged from
         the most deeply hidden aspirations of my heart to the whol-
         ly external view of the horizon spread out before my eyes at
         the foot of the garden, what was from the first the most per-
         manent and the most intimate part of me, the lever whose
         incessant movements controlled all the rest, was my belief
         in the philosophic richness and beauty of the book I was
         reading, and my desire to appropriate these to myself, what-
         ever the book might be. For even if I had purchased it at
         Combray, having seen it outside Borange’s, whose grocery
         lay too far from our house for Françoise to be able to deal
         there, as she did with Camus, but who enjoyed better cus-
         tom as a stationer and bookseller; even if I had seen it, tied
         with string to keep it in its place in the mosaic of month-
         ly  parts  and  pamphlets  which  adorned  either  side  of  his
         doorway, a doorway more mysterious, more teeming with
         suggestion than that of a cathedral, I should have noticed
         and bought it there simply because I had recognised it as a
         book which had been well spoken of, in my hearing, by the
         school-master or the school-friend who, at that particular
         time, seemed to me to be entrusted with the secret of Truth
         and Beauty, things half-felt by me, half-incomprehensible,
         the full understanding of which was the vague but perma-
         nent object of my thoughts.

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