Page 576 - swanns-way
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cruel name of the Maison Dorée it was because that name
recalled to him, no longer, as, such a little time since, at
Mme. de Saint-Euverte’s party, the good fortune which he
long had lost, but a misfortune of which he was now first
aware. Then it befell the Maison Dorée, as it had befallen the
Island in the Bois, that gradually its name ceased to trouble
him. For what we suppose to be our love, our jealousy are,
neither of them, single, continuous and individual passions.
They are composed of an infinity of successive loves, of dif-
ferent jealousies, each of which is ephemeral, although by
their uninterrupted multitude they give us the impression
of continuity, the illusion of unity. The life of Swann’s love,
the fidelity of his jealousy, were formed out of death, of in-
fidelity, of innumerable desires, innumerable doubts, all of
which had Odette for their object. If he had remained for
any length of time without seeing her, those that died would
not have been replaced by others. But the presence of Odette
continued to sow in Swann’s heart alternate seeds of love
and suspicion.
On certain evenings she would suddenly resume towards
him a kindness of which she would warn him sternly that
he must take immediate advantage, under penalty of not
seeing it repeated for years to come; he must instantly ac-
company her home, to ‘do a cattleya,’ and the desire which
she pretended to have for him was so sudden, so inexpli-
cable, so imperious, the kisses which she lavished on him
were so demonstrative and so unfamiliar, that this brutal
and unnatural fondness made Swann just as unhappy as
any lie or unkind action. One evening when he had thus, in
576 Swann’s Way