Page 576 - swanns-way
P. 576

cruel name of the Maison Dorée it was because that name
         recalled to him, no longer, as, such a little time since, at
         Mme. de Saint-Euverte’s party, the good fortune which he
         long had lost, but a misfortune of which he was now first
         aware. Then it befell the Maison Dorée, as it had befallen the
         Island in the Bois, that gradually its name ceased to trouble
         him. For what we suppose to be our love, our jealousy are,
         neither of them, single, continuous and individual passions.
         They are composed of an infinity of successive loves, of dif-
         ferent jealousies, each of which is ephemeral, although by
         their uninterrupted multitude they give us the impression
         of continuity, the illusion of unity. The life of Swann’s love,
         the fidelity of his jealousy, were formed out of death, of in-
         fidelity, of innumerable desires, innumerable doubts, all of
         which had Odette for their object. If he had remained for
         any length of time without seeing her, those that died would
         not have been replaced by others. But the presence of Odette
         continued to sow in Swann’s heart alternate seeds of love
         and suspicion.
            On certain evenings she would suddenly resume towards
         him a kindness of which she would warn him sternly that
         he must take immediate advantage, under penalty of not
         seeing it repeated for years to come; he must instantly ac-
         company her home, to ‘do a cattleya,’ and the desire which
         she pretended to have for him was so sudden, so inexpli-
         cable, so imperious, the kisses which she lavished on him
         were so demonstrative and so unfamiliar, that this brutal
         and  unnatural  fondness  made  Swann  just  as  unhappy  as
         any lie or unkind action. One evening when he had thus, in

         576                                     Swann’s Way
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