Page 72 - the-portrait-of-a-lady
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obvious kind; but even if one had not the journalistic tal-
         ent and a genius for guessing, as Henrietta said, what the
         public was going to want, one was not therefore to conclude
         that one had no vocation, no beneficent aptitude of any sort,
         and resign one’s self to being frivolous and hollow. Isabel
         was stoutly determined not to be hollow. If one should wait
         with the right patience one would find some happy work to
         one’s hand. Of course, among her theories, this young lady
         was not without a collection of views on the subject of mar-
         riage. The first on the list was a conviction of the vulgarity
         of thinking too much of it. From lapsing into eagerness on
         this point she earnestly prayed she might be delivered; she
         held that a woman ought to be able to live to herself, in the
         absence of exceptional flimsiness, and that it was perfectly
         possible to be happy without the society of a more or less
         coarse-minded person of another sex. The girl’s prayer was
         very sufficiently answered; something pure and proud that
         there was in her—something cold and dry an unappreciat-
         ed suitor with a taste for analysis might have called it—had
         hitherto kept her from any great vanity of conjecture on the
         article of possible husbands. Few of the men she saw seemed
         worth  a  ruinous  expenditure,  and  it  made  her  smile  to
         think that one of them should present himself as an incen-
         tive to hope and a reward of patience. Deep in her soul—it
         was the deepest thing there—lay a belief that if a certain
         light should dawn she could give herself completely; but this
         image, on the whole, was too formidable to be attractive.
         Isabel’s thoughts hovered about it, but they seldom rested
         on it long; after a little it ended in alarms. It often seemed to

         72                               The Portrait of a Lady
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