Page 391 - lady-chatterlys-lover

violent women always go partly insane whets the change of
life comes upon them—
This was a nasty blow to Connie. Here she was, sure as
life, coming in for her share of the lowness and dirt. She felt
angry with him for not having got clear of a Bertha Coutts:
nay, for ever having married her. Perhaps he had a certain
hankering after lowness. Connie remembered the last night
she had spent with him, and shivered. He had known all
that sensuality, even with a Bertha Coutts! It was really
rather disgusting. It would be well to be rid of him, clear of
him altogether. He was perhaps really common, really low.
She had a revulsion against the whole affair, and al-
most envied the Guthrie girls their gawky inexperience and
crude maidenliness. And she now dreaded the thought that
anybody would know about herself and the keeper. How
unspeakably humiliating! She was weary, afraid, and felt
a craving for utter respectability, even for the vulgar and
deadening respectability of the Guthrie girls. If Clifford
knew about her affair, how unspeakably humiliating! She
was afraid, terrified of society and its unclean bite. She al-
most wished she could get rid of the child again, and be
quite clear. In short, she fell into a state of funk.
As for the scent-bottle, that was her own folly. She had
not been able to refrain from perfuming his one or two
handkerchiefs and his shirts in the drawer, just out of child-
ishness, and she had left a little bottle of Coty’s Wood-violet
perfume, half empty, among his things. She wanted him
to remember her in the perfume. As for the cigarette-ends,
they were Hilda’s.

0 Lady Chatterly’s Lover