Page 543 - sons-and-lovers

baptism of fire in passion, and it left him at rest. But it was
not Clara. It was something that happened because of her,
but it was not her. They were scarcely any nearer each other.
It was as if they had been blind agents of a great force.
When she saw him that day at the factory her heart melt-
ed like a drop of fire. It was his body, his brows. The drop of
fire grew more intense in her breast; she must hold him. But
he, very quiet, very subdued this morning, went on giving
his instruction. She followed him into the dark, ugly base-
ment, and lifted her arms to him. He kissed her, and the
intensity of passion began to burn him again. Somebody
was at the door. He ran upstairs; she returned to her room,
moving as if in a trance.
After that the fire slowly went down. He felt more and
more that his experience had been impersonal, and not
Clara. He loved her. There was a big tenderness, as after a
strong emotion they had known together; but it was not she
who could keep his soul steady. He had wanted her to be
something she could not be.
And she was mad with desire of him. She could not see
him without touching him. In the factory, as he talked to
her about Spiral hose, she ran her hand secretly along his
side. She followed him out into the basement for a quick
kiss; her eyes, always mute and yearning, full of unre-
strained passion, she kept fixed on his. He was afraid of her,
lest she should too flagrantly give herself away before the
other girls. She invariably waited for him at dinnertime for
him to embrace her before she went. He felt as if she were
helpless, almost a burden to him, and it irritated him.

Sons and Lovers