Page 587 - sons-and-lovers

‘How do I treat you badly?’ he said.
‘It serves me right,’ she repeated. ‘I never considered him
worth having, and now you don’t consider ME. But it serves
me right. He loved me a thousand times better than you
ever did.’
‘He didn’t!’ protested Paul.
‘He did! At any rate, he did respect me, and that’s what
you don’t do.’
‘It looked as if he respected you!’ he said.
‘He did! And I MADE him horrid—I know I did! You’ve
taught me that. And he loved me a thousand times better
than ever you do.’
‘All right,’ said Paul.
He only wanted to be left alone now. He had his own
trouble, which was almost too much to bear. Clara only tor-
mented him and made him tired. He was not sorry when
he left her.
She went on the first opportunity to Sheffield to see her
husband. The meeting was not a success. But she left him
roses and fruit and money. She wanted to make restitution.
It was not that she loved him. As she looked at him lying
there her heart did not warm with love. Only she wanted to
humble herself to him, to kneel before him. She wanted now
to be self-sacrificial. After all, she had failed to make Morel
really love her. She was morally frightened. She wanted to
do penance. So she kneeled to Dawes, and it gave him a sub-
tle pleasure. But the distance between them was still very
great—too great. It frightened the man. It almost pleased
the woman. She liked to feel she was serving him across an

Sons and Lovers