Page 1023 - the-brothers-karamazov

And so they’ve written it down, that it’s just how it must
have happened, simply from my fear.’
As he finished, Smerdyakov. drew a deep breath, as
though exhausted.
‘Then you have said all that in your evidence?’ said Ivan,
somewhat taken aback. He had meant to frighten him with
the threat of repeating their conversation, and it appeared
that Smerdyakov had already reported it all himself.
‘What have I to be afraid of? Let them write down the
whole truth,’ Smerdyakov pronounced firmly.
‘And have you told them every word of our conversation
at the gate?’
‘No, not to say every word.’
‘And did you tell them that you can sham fits, as you
boasted then?’
‘No, I didn’t tell them that either.’
‘Tell me now, why did you send me then to Tchermash-
nya?’
‘I was afraid you’d go away to Moscow; Tchermashnya is
nearer, anyway.’
‘You are lying; you suggested my going away yourself;
you told me to get out of the way of trouble.’
‘That was simply out of affection and my sincere devotion
to you, foreseeing trouble in the house, to spare you. Only I
wanted to spare myself even more. That’s why I told you to
get out of harm’s way, that you might understand that there
would be trouble in the house, and would remain at home
to protect your father.’
‘You might have said it more directly, you blockhead!’

10 The Brothers Karamazov