Page 902 - the-brothers-karamazov

but you understand now what a state he was in! Well, it can’t
be helped: it was stupid of me not to come and forgive him
— that is, to make it up with him- when he was taken ill. I
am sorry for it now. But I had a special reason. So now I’ve
told you all about it... but I’m afraid it was stupid of me.’
‘Oh, what a pity,’ exclaimed Alyosha, with feeling, ‘that I
didn’t know before what terms you were on with him, or I’d
have come to you long ago to beg you to go to him with me.
Would you believe it, when he was feverish he talked about
you in delirium. I didn’t know how much you were to him!
And you’ve really not succeeded in finding that dog? His
father and the boys have been hunting all over the town for
it. Would you believe it, since he’s been ill, I’ve three times
heard him repeat with tears, ‘It’s because I killed Zhutch-
ka, father, that I am ill now. God is punishing me for it.’
He can’t get that idea out of his head. And if the dog were
found and proved to be alive, one might almost fancy the
joy would cure him. We have all rested our hopes on you.’
‘Tell me, what made you hope that I should be the one to
find him?’ Kolya asked, with great curiosity. ‘Why did you
reckon on me rather than anyone else?’
‘There was a report that you were looking for the dog,
and that you would bring it when you’d found it. Smurov
said something of the sort. We’ve all been trying to per-
suade Ilusha that the dog is alive, that it’s been seen. The
boys brought him a live hare: he just looked at it, with a
faint smile, and asked them to set it free in the fields. And so
we did. His father has just this moment come back, bring-
ing him a mastiff pup, hoping to comfort him with that; but

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