Page 203 - erewhon

CHAPTER XXI: THE

COLLEGES OF UNREASON

had now been a visitor with the Nosnibors for some five
o
I r six months, and though I had frequently proposed to
leave them and take apartments of my own, they would not
hear of my doing so. I suppose they thought I should be
more likely to fall in love with Zulora if I remained, but it
was my affection for Arowhena that kept me.
During all this time both Arowhena and myself had
been dreaming, and drifting towards an avowed attach-
ment, but had not dared to face the real difficulties of the
position. Gradually, however, matters came to a crisis in
spite of ourselves, and we got to see the true state of the case,
all too clearly.
One evening we were sitting in the garden, and I had
been trying in every stupid roundabout way to get her to
say that she should be at any rate sorry for a man, if he really
loved a woman who would not marry him. I had been stam-
mering and blushing, and been as silly as any one could be,
and I suppose had pained her by fishing for pity for my-
self in such a transparent way, and saying nothing about her
own need of it; at any rate, she turned all upon me with a
sweet sad smile and said, ‘Sorry? I am sorry for myself; I am
sorry for you; and I am sorry for every one.’ The words had

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