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Where do most people go to satisfy their pursuit of happiness?
They try to satisfy the question in their mind that asks them what they have to do in order to feel
good. That might also mean doing things to compensate for fears and beliefs of something
painful happening. The end goal is happiness and all the beliefs, fears, assumptions, and
perceptions in the mind dictate the path. You can find these beliefs hiding behind thoughts or
comments like, “I’ll be happy when…” or, “I would feel much better if..”
· In the pursuit of physical enjoyment we get direct feedback.
· With emotional enjoyment we often have a barrier of beliefs and assumptions that filter our
efforts.
Disillusioned career choices, broken hearted relationships, and mid-life crisis indicate that our
assumptions about happiness often miss the mark. Most of what we have embedded in our
mind about what makes us happy and unhappy comes from other people or marketing
agencies and doesn’t address our individual inspirations.
&ƌŽŵ ŚĞƌ ĞĂƌůLJ ĐŚŝůĚŚŽŽĚ͕ ^ĂůůLJ ĞdžƉĞƌŝĞŶĐĞĚ ůŝƩůĞ ĞŶĐŽƵƌĂŐĞŵĞŶƚ Žƌ
ĂƉƉƌŽǀĂů ĨƌŽŵ ŚĞƌ ĨĂƚŚĞƌ͘ /Ŷ ĞǀĞƌLJƚŚŝŶŐ ƐŚĞ ĚŝĚ͕ ŝƚ ƐĞĞŵĞĚ ƚŚĂƚ ƐŚĞ ũƵƐƚ
ǁĂƐŶ͛ƚ ŐŽŽĚ ĞŶŽƵŐŚ ŝŶ ŚŝƐ ĞLJĞƐ͘ /Ŷ ƐĐŚŽŽůŝŶŐ͕ ŐLJŵŶĂƐƟĐƐ ĂŶĚ ĚĂŶĐŝŶŐ
ĞǀĞŶƚƐ͕ ǁŚĞŶ ƐŚĞ ǁĂƐ ƉůĂĐĞĚ ĂŶLJƚŚŝŶŐ ŽƚŚĞƌ ƚŚĂŶ ĮƌƐƚ͕ ŚĞƌ ĚĂĚ ǁŽƵůĚ
ƌĞŵĂƌŬ ƚŚĂƚ ŚĞƌ ƉĞƌĨŽƌŵĂŶĐĞ ǁĂƐ ͛ũƵƐƚ ŽŬ͛͘
dŚƌŽƵŐŚ ŚĞƌ ƚĞĞŶĂŐĞ LJĞĂƌƐ ĂŶĚ ŝŶƚŽ ĂĚƵůƚ ůŝĨĞ͕ ^ĂůůLJ ĚĞƐƉĞƌĂƚĞůLJ ǁĂŶƚĞĚ
ŚĞƌ ĨĂƚŚĞƌƐ ĂƉƉƌŽǀĂů͘ ,ĂƌĚĞƌ ĂŶĚ ŚĂƌĚĞƌ ƐŚĞ ƚƌĂŝŶĞĚ ƵŶƟů ĮŶĂůůLJ ƐŚĞ ǁĂƐ
ďĞŝŶŐ ƉůĂĐĞĚ ĮƌƐƚ ŝŶ ĂůŵŽƐƚ ĞǀĞƌLJ ĐŽŵƉĞƟƟŽŶ ƐŚĞ ĞŶƚĞƌĞĚ͘ ǀĞŶ ƚŚĞŶ͕ ŚĞƌ
ĨĂƚŚĞƌ ǁŽƵůĚ ƉŽŝŶƚ ŽƵƚ ŽƚŚĞƌ ŐŝƌůƐ ƐĂLJŝŶŐ ƚŚĞLJ ǁĞƌĞ ďĞƩĞƌ ƚŚĂŶ ^ĂůůLJ͘
,Ğƌ ĐŚŝůĚŚŽŽĚ ĚĞƐŝƌĞ ƚŽ ƉůĞĂƐĞ ŚĞƌ ĨĂƚŚĞƌ ĐƌĞĂƚĞĚ Ă ƉĞƌĨĞĐƟŽŶŝƐƚ ŝŶ ŚĞƌ
ĂĚƵůƚ ůŝĨĞ͕ ĐŽŶƐƚĂŶƚůLJ ƚƌLJŝŶŐ ƚŽ ƉůĞĂƐĞ ĂŶĚ ƐĞĞŬŝŶŐ ƚŚĞ ĂƉƉƌŽǀĂů ŽĨ ŽƚŚĞƌƐ͘
>ŝŬĞ ƵƐ Ăůů͕ ^ĂůůLJ ŝƐ ŽŶůLJ ŚƵŵĂŶ ĂŶĚ ĚĞƐƉŝƚĞ ŚĞƌ ĞīŽƌƚƐ ƐŚĞ ǁĂƐ ŶŽƚ ƉĞƌĨĞĐƚ͘
tŚĞŶ ƚŚŝŶŐƐ ĚŝĚŶ͛ƚ ŐŽ ŚĞƌ ǁĂLJ͕ ŝŶ ƌĞůĂƟŽŶƐŚŝƉƐ͕ ĮŶĂŶĐŝĂů ĂīĂŝƌƐ͕ ĂƐ Ă ƉĂƌĞŶƚ ŚĞƌƐĞůĨ ĂŶĚ ŝŶ ŚĞƌ ǁŽƌŬ ůŝĨĞ͕ ƐŚĞ ĨĞůů
ŝŶƚŽ ĚĞƉƌĞƐƐĞĚ ƐƚĂƚĞƐ͕ ĨĞĞůŝŶŐ ƚŚĂƚ ŽŶĐĞ ĂŐĂŝŶ͕ ƐŚĞ ǁĂƐ ͛ũƵƐƚ ŽŬ͛ ĂŶĚ ŶŽƚ ŐŽŽĚ ĞŶŽƵŐŚ͘ ^ĂůůLJ ŚĂĚ ďĞĐŽŵĞ ŵĞŶƚĂůůLJ
ĐŽŶĚŝƟŽŶĞĚ ĂŶĚ ƉƌŽŐƌĂŵŵĞĚ ƚŽ ďĞůŝĞǀĞ ƚŚĂƚ ŚĂƉƉŝŶĞƐƐ ůĂLJ ŝŶ ŚĞƌ ďĞŝŶŐ ͚ƉĞƌĨĞĐƚ͛͘
ŶLJƚŚŝŶŐ ůĞƐƐ ĂŶĚ ƐŚĞ ǁŽƵůĚ ĐŽŶƐŝĚĞƌ ŚĞƌƐĞůĨ ͛ŶŽƚ ŐŽŽĚ ĞŶŽƵŐŚ͛͘ dŚĞ ĞƌƌŽŶĞŽƵƐ ďĞůŝĞĨ ƚŚĂƚ ŚĂƉƉŝŶĞƐƐ ůĂLJ ŝŶ ďĞŝŶŐ
ƉĞƌĨĞĐƚ Ăƚ ĞǀĞƌLJƚŚŝŶŐ͕ ĚĞƉƌŝǀĞĚ ^ĂůůLJ ŽĨ ŵƵĐŚ ŽĨ ƚŚĞ ŚĂƉƉŝŶĞƐƐ ƐŚĞ ǁŽƵůĚ ŚĂǀĞ ŽƚŚĞƌǁŝƐĞ ĞdžƉĞƌŝĞŶĐĞĚ ĨŽƌ Ă ůĂƌŐĞ
ƉĂƌƚ ŽĨ ŚĞƌ ůŝĨĞ͘
/Ŷ ůĂƚĞƌ LJĞĂƌƐ͕ ^ĂůůLJ ǁĂƐ ĂďůĞ ƚŽ ͛ƌĞĨƌĂŵĞ͛ ƚŚĞ ĞdžƉĞĐƚĂƟŽŶƐ ŝŶ ŚĞƌ ŵŝŶĚ ƚŽ ǁŚĂƚ ƐŚĞ ďĞůŝĞǀĞĚ ǁĂƐ ŵŽƌĞ ƌĞĂůŝƐƟĐ
ƌĂƚŚĞƌ ƚŚĂŶ ƚŚĞ ƉĞƌĨĞĐƚ ƉĞƌĨŽƌŵĂŶĐĞ ƐŚĞ ŚĂĚ ďĞůŝĞǀĞĚ ŽƚŚĞƌƐ ĞdžƉĞĐƚĞĚ ŽĨ ŚĞƌ͘ dŚŝƐ ĐŚĂŶŐĞ ĂůŽŶĞ ůĞƐƐĞŶĞĚ ƚŚĞ
ĨĞĞůŝŶŐ ŽĨ ŶŽƚ ďĞŝŶŐ ŐŽŽĚ ĞŶŽƵŐŚ ĨŽƌ ŽƚŚĞƌƐ͕ ƌĞƉůĂĐŝŶŐ ŝƚ ǁŝƚŚ ƚŚĞ ďĞƐƚ ĞīŽƌƚƐ ĨŽƌ ŚĞƌƐĞůĨ ĂŶĚ ŚĞƌ ůĞǀĞůƐ ŽĨ
ŚĂƉƉŝŶĞƐƐ ĂŶĚ ĐŽŶƚĞŶƚŵĞŶƚ ƐŽĂƌĞĚ͘
There are other problems with the approach of chasing the mental assumptions of what will
make us happy. What happens when our mind tells us what we have to do to be happy but we
haven’t met the mental criteria yet?
Suppose we believe we will be so much happier if we lose 15 lbs. Our mind can set up the
thought to be less happy with our body because we haven’t met the requirements for being
happy yet. When we let our belief system determine the criteria for being happy, we also
unconsciously define more reasons to be unhappy.
In later sessions, we’ll look at belief systems and how we can test and change our beliefs for
more satisfactory outcomes.