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Your happiness resides in you

No matter how much you love, admire or respect someone, your own happiness cannot be
found in them, it must be found within yourself. Of course we all need the companionship and
love of others, but it is our appreciation of them that brings us long term happiness. If we love
someone, it is human nature to expect that love to be returned, and it is often in this area that
the major cause of dissatisfaction is found. Learning to appreciate that the love we feel for them
is more important than receiving their love, is a major step forward to understanding that the
happiness within us is the only happiness we can sustain indefinitely.

The same can be said of material possessions. In this fast moving world of consumerism and
materialistic values, so many of us strive for the bigger house, the nicer car, the finer things in life.
That is perfectly natural, but recall the last major purchase you made, the initial thrill of owning
the latest gadget, top of the range car or beautiful detached home. How long did the excited
feelings last before the item became part of the everyday furniture of your life?

The true happiness that is the authentic you, is totally independent of any material possession
you might have, and any other person who you might have regard for, yet it does improve your
experience of that possession or person.
True happiness, happiness that lasts, is to be found within us, in the inner peace and
contentment with our feelings of appreciation for ourselves and others.

A major turning point in our lives occurs when we learn two key lessons:

1. If we don’t commit to achieving our own happiness, no-one else will or can. If all we ever
do is set out to make other people happy, our happiness is largely determined by their
feelings, not our own. Focusing entirely on making others happy is a soul destroying
exercise that can only result in frustration, resentment and disappointment.

2. We can’t give away what we don’t have. We can’t make someone else happy, if we are
steeped in self misery. As Abraham Lincoln said : “You can’t help the poor by being one
of them.”

We experience happiness when we are completely free from the negative and destructive
emotions in life, fear, anger, doubt, guilt, resentment and worry. Only when we have identified
the emotions that are obstructing our happiness can we focus on the work of eliminating or
minimising them in our lives.

Could the key to true happiness in life really be that simple?

The answer is most emphatically YES.
The major obstacle to achieving the happiness you deserve, is to be found in your attachment
to the negative people and situations that are causing it.

It is important to understand at this point, the difference between mind based thinking and
heart based instinctive decisions. Our wonderful mind will work against us if we let it here. It will
find no end of reasons to stay put, resist change and continue as you are. If we follow our mind
on this, instead of providing the solutions to our problems, our mind will keep us trapped in the
unhappiness surrounding them. The key to our true happiness lies in how we feel, not in our
minds, where we think.