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We know that we are important simply for being here. We believe we have a right to express
ourselves, and to be happy. We are certain that we have a purpose for living. We can have
dignity and poise, regardless of our physical appearance, financial status, possessions,
occupation, accomplishments and things that we cannot control such as other people's
opinions of us.

Self-esteem is the collection of thoughts, images, beliefs, and physical habits that correspond to
our perception and opinion of ourselves. Self-esteem manifests itself in our outer world. We know
that we possess unique talents and perspectives that make an important contribution to society.
We have the right and responsibility to develop that potential.
While we created our ideas about ourselves, we were particularly vulnerable to other people's
teasing, insults, rejections, and shaming. As adults, we are less vulnerable to the same assaults if
we have learned that we are responsible for our own self esteem. As Eleanor Roosevelt said,
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent". It is difficult to have self-
esteem without support from people, at least from the people whom we respect.

If we value honesty, and we violate that value, we can be damaging our self-esteem, if we
respond excessively or incorrectly. When we correct the action, our self-esteem is restored and
even enhanced because we have indicated to ourselves that we are competent to live life
fairly and directly. We can question the values that were violated. We realize that our values are
ineffective for the purpose of enhancing our life, so we change them. We can avoid shaming
ourselves and becoming wracked with guilt. Shame and guilt are harmful and unnecessary acts
in which we proclaim that we are flawed and incapable. In one sense, shame and guilt are the
opposite of self-esteem. They damage self-esteem.
Low self–esteem is at the core of our behaviours which make us feel that life is unproductive or
unmanageable. The purpose of this session is to assist you to get life under control so as to feel
more productive, successful and happy.

The development of low self-esteem takes time. It takes a series of events and a chain of
habitual behaviours to dampen our sense of self-worth. What is most important is for you to
identify the negative impact of low self esteem which has resulted in your feelings of being out
of control, unproductive, and unhappy.
Low self–esteem has its origins in a number of life circumstances. If you come from a family of
origin where one or both of your parents had problems with alcohol, drugs, mental illness,
physical abuse, inability to show warmth, affection and approval, overly critical, rigid in religious
belief, workaholism, then in all likelihood your self–esteem suffered. If you were physically,
emotionally, verbally, or sexually abused or neglected your self–esteem was lowered.
The Impact of Low Self Esteem

If, in a relationship you worked hard to overcome the other person's irresponsibility and
insecurity, this `"codependent'' relationship negatively affected your self–esteem. If, on the other
hand, you were dependent on another person to make the world seem right for you, your
self–esteem was also hurt and damaged.
These sources helped to distort your thinking, emotions and actions, resulting in lowered self–
esteem. Your thinking was affected by irrational beliefs not founded in reality but motivated by
the need to induce guilt, fear, mistrust, insecurity, and manipulation. This thinking led you to
believe that no matter what you did in life it would "never be good enough.''

This thinking led you to believe that you were nothing unless you "did something.'' This thinking
did not allow you to love yourself unconditionally for just being the person that you are.