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In this chapter we will find out about the essentials of what love really is and what happens in our bodies that makes us fall in love. We'll also look at what
attracts us to someone in the first place. Is it their pheromones, or do they just fit the right "love model?"

WHAT IS LOVE?

If you've ever been head over heels in love with someone, you will at some time have compared the feelings with those of addiction. As it turns out,
scientists are discovering that s similar chemical process takes place with addiction that takes place when we fall in love. Love is a chemical state of
mind that is part of our genes and influenced by our upbringing.

“When you look at love, you're looking into the face of appreciation.”

Throughout the history of mankind, we as a world culture have made love out to be mysterious, complex, difficult, and beyond definition. Maybe there’s a fear
that if we define it, it would somehow be less powerful... less exhilarating. Maybe we like the mystery of it. But is it really that complicated? Perhaps the
complications surrounding love come from all the “stuff” we add on to this powerful emotion.

Romantic love both exhilarates and motivates us. It is also critical to the continuation of our species. Without the attachment of romantic love, we would live
in an entirely different society that more closely resembled some of those social circles in the animal world. The chemicals that race around in our brain when
we're in love serve several purposes, not least of which is the continuation of our species. Those chemicals are what make us want to form families and have
children.

True love requires you to know a person very well. You must trust that person enough to have other friends of the opposite sex and know that they wouldn’t
do anything with the other person because they love you. This is what usually hurts the most; you lose that person’s trust and respect. A true love cares about
your inner beauty, not just your exterior beauty. It doesn’t lock you up or control you. Love isn’t selfish; it shares you and your qualities with others to enrich
everyone’s lives. The other person believes in you, making you yourself believe you’re capable of that much more.

True love can be defined in one word CARING. “C”=Concern. This relates to an individual’s concern for the other’s well-being. You want the best
for them. Your concern for them is unselfish. “A”=Acceptance. Unconditional love, you love them despite their faults. “R”=Responsibility. You
make decisions about the relationship that will be best for everyone. You think before and after an action and take responsibility for the end result, bad
or good. Remember if someone REALLY loves you they won’t push you into doing anything you don’t feel comfortable with. “I”=Integrity. You are honest
and truthful with the other person in the relationship. You don’t condemn the other person or make them feel bad about themselves. You see them for who
they truly are and love them for it. “N”=Nurture. When you love someone, you want the best for them even if it doesn’t benefit you in any way. Just seeing
them happy makes you happy. You help them grow and mature into the best person he or she can possible be. “G”=Giving. When you give, it involves a
risk. For example, you go up to the other person and tell them you love them, you take a risk because you have no clue what their response will be. Both must
give something to benefit another. In true love relationships more than any other, we should go into them to give rather than to get. Page299