Page 305 - The Truth Landscape Format 2020 1st Draft 19_01_2020

Stage 5: Attachment

The attachment, or commitment, stage is love for the duration. You've passed love of romance and are entering into real love. This stage of love has to be
strong enough to withstand many problems and distractions. This is the stage of transition. Similar to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, if you have not successfully
moved through the first four stages of love, inevitably, you will find yourself re-visiting them before you can happily proceed to the final stage of mature love.

Stage 6: Mature Love

This is the ultimate reward of committed love relationships. In mature love, the relationship continues to flourish from the processes and corrections put in
place to meet the demands of the power struggle. The partners learn how to balance the requirements of closeness and separateness, how to create a sexual life
that satisfies them both, how to solve problems effectively together, and how to talk and listen to each other so their differing points of view are understood
and honoured. Understanding and acceptance become the most valuable assets. They use these new ways of relating to learn more about each other, especially
where they have each been hurt and need help to heal. Finally, both partners know how to give love to each other, and how to receive the love that has been
offered.

You can see how crucial the power struggle is in stimulating couples to do the work that needs to be done to reach the stage of mature love. But romance and
attraction also lend some of their important elements to this stage of a relationship. The partners in mature love have learned how to instil their relationship
with gifts, compliments, appreciation, surprises, and treats of pleasure. They have re-romanticised their relationship. They look forward to giving gifts to each
other, and graciously receive them. They are refreshed by the attraction they still feel for each other and have learned that in mature love, attraction is based
on having a shared past and an ongoing shared present.

LOVE ON THE BRAIN

The Chemistry of Love

There are a lot of chemicals racing around your brain and body when you're in love. Researchers are gradually learning more about the roles they
play when we are falling in love and when we're in long-term relationships. Estrogen and testosterone play a role in the sex drive area. Without
them, we might never venture into the "real love" arena.

Initial symptoms when we first fall in love include a racing heart, flushed skin and sweaty palms. Researchers say this is due to the dopamine, norepinephrine
and phenylethylamine we're releasing.
Dopamine is thought to be the "pleasure chemical," producing a feeling of bliss. High levels of dopamine are also associated with norepinephrine, which
heightens attention, short-term memory, hyperactivity, sleeplessness and goal-oriented behavior. In other words, couples in this stage of love focus intently on
the relationship and often on little else. Page305