Page 342 - The Truth Landscape Format 2020 1st Draft 19_01_2020

may be fine in most relationships but not in your primary relationship with your partner. You want all of you to be loved, even those parts you presently judge
as bad or wrong.

To create the true intimacy and closeness of true love, you will have to let your partner see ALL of you. This is a scary process because you will fear
that they might get angry, or hurt, or decide that "all of you" isn’t what they wanted and leave the relationship. But then, what kind of relationship
would it be if your partner only knows part of you. If it isn’t based on absolute truth, it will never be true love.

“Honesty can be tough but it's necessary if you want the close intimacy of true love.”

Many of us were taught that telling the truth is sometimes not being kind or loving, that it can separate us from what we want most, but telling the truth only
separates us from our lies and our confused, limited self-beliefs. Yes, the truth may hurt sometimes, but it never wounds the way a lie, an omission or half-truth
can.

Most of us were taught to avoid pain at all costs, so it is tough sometimes to face up to and share our truths, knowing that it may hurt a friend or lover or a
member of our family. But when we don't tell the truth, it builds an invisible wall between us and those we love. Our greatest fear is that the truth will be
distasteful to our lover and we will end up alone. The reality is that the longer we are together, the more we practice the truth, the more trust develops and the
easier the truth becomes. When we hide nothing, we can give everything.

What IS A Healthy Relationship?

How do you know whether your romantic relationship, love affair, or marriage is the right one for you? Do you feel happy as often as you would like, or sad
and miserable more often than you feel comfortable. As we saw earlier in the chapter, loving each other doesn’t provide all o f the answers. If you have a
healthy relationship, you will know it and have little or no need to ask yourself these questions, because you already know the answers.

A healthy relationship doesn't make you feel miserable. You don't need to endlessly wonder about issues over which you have no control, such as 'Will he ever
change his ways like he promised he would?'

So many people settle for being unhappy as a way of life, why is that? All too often it's because they don't feel they deserve to be happy. Love shouldn't make
you feel bad.

Desperate, worried people tend to be possessive, jealous, clingy, needy, whiny, and/or unreasonable. When we love someone exhibiting these traits, is it any
wonder that this quality of love can actually alienate the person who is the object of such an overwhelming, all consuming love? Everyone needs their own
degree of personal space, and having such demands placed on you can be suffocating. Who among us feels capable of living up to such high standards as
making someone else deliriously happy? Page342