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HOW YOUR BELIEF SYSTEM INFLUENCES YOUR LIFE

Once this belief is accepted in her mind, it will lead to a change in behaviour from that day. She
will believe she is only pretty and worthy of praise when winning or standing out from the crowd.

From that day onward, that small child may be conditioned with the belief that could influence
all her later interactions in life. Every human being wants to be loved unconditionally, looking
pretty or not, performing well or not. In this example, it would not be surprising to discover the
child grows into an adult with a tendency to perfectionism, constantly seeking approval to
validate her need for self worth.
Imagine the father of that child, proudly boasting to his friends that his daughter could be a
professional dancer or a model, but then following it up with “forget how she looks today, she
hasn’t washed her hair and she has a few spots. When she dances she looks beautiful and she’s
my darling”.

The poor girl is too young to analyse the situation fully and believes she is only acceptable and
praiseworthy when performing well and looking her best. The father has applied conditional love,
albeit unknowingly, that until corrected by the child as she becomes an adult, will affect her
beliefs about herself and the behaviours she will adopt and the outcomes she will achieve.

Some may say this would be good for the childs’ self discipline. If the child were able to
differentiate between being loved unconditionally and being loved for her beauty and
performance, this would be fine, but very few children are born with this natural ability and
wisdom. Who of us can say that we have not made similar mistakes with our children at some
time or another?

Between the ages of one and eighteen, we are told “No” on average five times daily and
positive things on average, four times a year. What type of conditioning is that? What
consequences should we expect?
How beliefs affect our thought processes

There is a domino effect in place here. The first domino in the chain is your beliefs. The beliefs
you have, help reinforce or discard your values. The combination of beliefs and values result in
thoughts, which mixed with feelings become our emotions. From all of this, our expectations are
born, which lead to our behavioural pattern and the actions we take. Expectations mixed with
behaviour and action, create a force of attraction which magnetically attracts the results we
experience, good or bad.

Your Belief Becomes Your Reality

The most powerful single factor in your quest for happiness is your belief about yourself. Whatever
you believe, with feeling, becomes your reality. We have a tendency to block out any
information coming in to us that is inconsistent with our reality, with our beliefs. Successful and
happy people absolutely believe that they have the ability to succeed and the right to
happiness. They will not entertain, think about or talk about the possibilities that they will fail. They
do not even consider the possibility of failure.

You always act in a manner consistent with your beliefs. The most important belief system you
can build is one of the highest self-worth, where you absolutely believe that you are going to
achieve your goals. Positive thinking can sometimes be no more than wishing or hoping. But
positive knowing is when you absolutely know that no matter what, you will be happy and
successful.