Page 48 - PENTHOUSE LETTERS 2018 Writer Of The Year Award Jim McCartan

LETTERS

MY MOST UNFORGETTABLE LAY Jim McCartan

Brett and had learned they were definitely
wise to the scene and up for more than
just a romantic anniversary.
“I think they might go for you and your
girlfriend,” he added. “Gina’s had her eyes
on you since breakfast.”
On hearing that, I had to think of
worldwide famine to keep my penis from
stiffening further.
But I didn’t need that distraction for
long. Soon after, out came Ella, making
a grand entrance, wearing revealing
swimwear—with fringe, no less! Christ,
the woman had big tits. She brought a
large pitcher of lemonade, and a bottle of
vodka to spike it. Everyone imbibed, even
Ann and Walt, who were soon napping
peacefully beneath their umbrella.
Perry eventually invited all of us—
as if it were laden with innuendo. including the recently awakened older
As we finished eating, we all agreed to couple—to join him in his private suite in a
meet at one o’clock near the pool at the “KIA’S BREASTS half hour or so for another round of drinks
back of the mansion for some sunbathing. and munchies.
There was also a large hot tub on the BOUNCED AND “We’re definitely in,” said Brett. “You
adjacent deck. joining us, George?”
“If you didn’t bring a swimsuit, we can SWAYED MADLY I was thinking of Kia, wishing she were
take care of you,” said Phil. not at the damned conference. Gina
“I’ve fallen for that line before,” said Ann, AS HE SLAMMED seemed to read my mind.
giggling. “I won’t say what happened.” “Too bad your girlfriend can’t join us,”
The pool turned out to be larger than INTO HER.” she said.
I’d expected, and the lush landscaping “She’ll be back later in the afternoon.”
around the deck was as impressive as “That’s good. Poor thing—off working,
the rest of the place. Soon we were while the rest of us are having fun. You
all sprawled on beach chairs, soaking “They’re quite the adventurers,” he should come along.”
up the late-spring rays. All, that is, but added. “Don’t let their ‘grandma’ and “For a little while,” I said, relenting.
Ann and Walt, who shaded themselves ‘grandpa’ exteriors fool you.” “Ann? Walt? How about you?” asked
under a striped umbrella and were Finally, I thought. Here’s my chance Perry.
forever applying sunscreen to their to mention the elephant in the room—or, Walt gulped down the last of his
arms and legs. rather, the one on the sundeck. lemonade cocktail. He smiled cagily.
Apparently, Gina and Brett were “I was wondering about them,” I said. “You young folks go have your fun,” he
sun worshippers as well as gym rats. “I’m surprised to find senior citizens said. “Ann and I will put ourselves in Ella
Their bronzed, toned bodies could have here. I know this place has, you know, and Phil’s capable hands.”
belonged to magazine models. Gina was a reputation.” He stared into the distance. His eyes
enticing in her zebra-striped bikini. I lay on “Hell, they’ve been swingers for were fixed on Ella, who was sauntering
my stomach to hide the erection that her decades,” said Perry. “They’re semi-retired back out on the deck, bearing another
near-nakedness had provoked. from the scene, but they still like the vibe.” pitcher of lemonade. She strode like a
Perry, who’d taken the deck chair He then filled me in on all he knew post-menopausal version of the “Girl
beside mine, told me all about Ann and about how things stood. He, too, liked to from Ipanema.”
Walt. They had been best friends of his swing, but he was currently un-partnered “I’m sure they’ve got some old board
former landlord, who was now deceased. and going stag. He had just met Gina and games stashed away for you somewhere

46 Penthouse Letters