Page 12 - Memorial Book Thilaga Mylvaganam

organised in their garden in Mt. Lavinia). She never forgot her humble
beginnings and helped charities such as Abhayakaram and TamMed Aid.

Amma believed versatility developed strong and inspired minds ready to
make a positive contribution to society. She inculcated this in her students,
children and grandchildren. However, as I was the eldest of three girls in a
Tamil family, Amma wanted me to marry early instead of pursuing tertiary
studies. Luckily for me, Amma went off to England for 6 months and I
commenced professional studies. Amma had seen the value of further
education after marriage for her, so in later years when she reprimanded
me for pursuing postgraduate studies I latched on to this fact and she had
to give in. However, much to my annoyance she continued to remark “You
are always talking about work. You should stay at home and look after the
children”, but this constant reminder and Amma’s strong family doctrines
amidst a successful career led me to balance my career with time for family
and the community allowing for a fulfilling and contented life. Amma was
such a role model in my early life that when I wrote essays, I’d always write
about becoming a teacher, (though at that stage I knew nothing about
teaching). This strong influence led to training and mentoring becoming an
integral part of my life.

Amma was widely read ranging from Oscar Wilde, to Shakespeare to
Gandhi. She marvelled at the wit and satire of Oscar Wilde and was a
master of this herself. Her witty comments would often be followed by a
whimsical smile awaiting a response. For instance, when I sat on the floor
while she taught me history, she would say “you’ve learnt history at your
mother’s knee or some such low joint”. I‘d often get the historic context of
events wrong, and she’d say “you got it as clear as mud”, so much so that
for a school exercise in idioms that’s exactly what I wrote, the answer clear
as crystal never entered my head! Spelling errors were definitely not
accepted. She’d threaten to pull out the red pen at the slightest
provocation. When one of us children on arriving overseas once, wrote to
her saying “arrived safely” but missed the ‘e’ in the word safely, she never
stopped talking about this and would always check to know if we arrived
‘safly’.

Appa admired Amma in sober coloured sarees saying she looked dignified
in them. So, when she came upon a bright coloured saree she would tongue
in cheek say, “this isn’t sober dignity”. Appa and Amma were voracious

Late Mrs. Tilakavati Mylvaganam 11