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ɳ Response to Question Five

It is absolutely forbidden to make a child aware of his parents’ role,
for this involves the sin of “‘Cursed is he who belittles his father and
mother” (Devarim, 27,16) and it is forbidden to be cured through vio-
lating prohibitions.5

8

ɳ Summary and Conclusions

Question One: In the case of major marital discord that is liable
to lead to danger, it is obligatory to intervene and to restore peace
between them even if they do not want it because of their embar-
rassment at having people mixing into their affairs. Failure to do so
falls within, “Do not stand idly by the [spilled] blood of your fellow-
man.” The couple’s embarrassment and their opposition should be
ignored, for their embarrassment is nonsensical.

This applies even when the couple has no children who are harmed
by their conflict and all the more so when they have children who are
being harmed by the discord. The matter must be dealt with delicate-
ly in order to save them embarrassment.

However, if the quarrel is inconsequential no intervention should
be attempted.

Question Two: Anyone who can prevent another person from
sinning is certainly under obligation to do so.

Question Three: If it will be beneficial, it is permitted to encour-
age one spouse to talk about the other spouse when the other spouse
is not present, provided the motivation for doing so is pure and this is
being done solely for a constructive purpose. In addition, the therapist
should not absolutely believe the patient’s story but should merely
suspect it might be true, for the sake of the benefit this can bring.

Question Four: The teacher should first be approached and
warned. If there is no improvement the matter should be reported.

5. On this topic see our in depth discussion of using imagination as a means of
reprisal against parents, in order to cure the child, earlier siman 267.

Honoring parents and slander in psychotherapy 2 209