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blood of your colleague.” And even there is no actual concern about
piku’ach nefesh, helping a person out of trouble is a mitzvah and it
is within the purview of “Do not stand idly by…” as is clear from the
Chafetz Chaim cited above.

My father-in-law zt”l, said further that the couple’s embarrassment
need not be considered for it is nonsensical and unjustified, so their
objections carry no weight.

Proof for this can be cited from Sefer Chasidim (234), which men-
tions the case of a patient who was told by his physician,“If you drink
water and eat such-and-such a food your life will be in danger.” The
patient could not restrain himself and told his son to bring him water
and that food and he added, “If you do not give them to me, I won’t
forgive you, neither in this world nor in the next!” The Sefer Chas-
sidim rules that the son should not give them to his father. The Kol
Gadol (54) explains the reasoning behind this: since if he eats and
drinks what is forbidden to him he will eventually regret having done
so his words need not be heeded, for by not listening to his father
the son does not intend to anger him but rather to benefit him3. A
father’s wish that stems from folly therefore need not be considered.
Similarly, nonsensical embarrassment need not be considered.

Obviously, effort should be made to intervene in an intelligent way
without causing embarrassment, as in the case of a certain couple
whom peace and harmony evaded. The rabbi who wanted to help
them without embarrassing them arranged for another couple to
come to them who were supposedly quarreling and he asked the first
couple to mentor them…by showing them how to overcome strife
and tension, how to keep conversations refined and respectful. His
aim was clear. The first couple was cast as teachers but they learned
a lot… and everything was carried out in a very dignified manner. It
goes without saying that such an initiative is permitted and is carried
out in the finest way.

3. See our lengthy discussion of this topic earlier, in siman 181.

206 1 Medical-Halachic Responsa of Rav Zilberstein