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householder was therefore allowed to grab the child until his father
returned what he stole.



A Foster Family that Refuses to Return a Child

to its Parents

Question: As a result of a couple’s quarreling, one of their daughters
became mentally ill. The parents agreed to transfer this daughter to
her aunt abroad, who cared for her devotedly. The parents now want
their daughter to return home but the aunt refuses to send her, argu-
ing that the parents’ situation has not improved and there is danger
that the girl will become ill again. Is she allowed to hold onto the girl
against her parents’ wishes?

Response: The sefer Lehoros Nassan (4, 128) discusses this question,
writing as follows: “Since the young girl arrived in her aunt’s house
with [the parents’] permission and the aunt never intended to hold
onto her in order to steal her, and the girl can come and go [from the
aunt’s house] as she pleases, this is not called “stealing a person.” This
is particularly so since the aunt’s intention is to educate her raise her
and then either return her to her parents or marry her off. In such a
situation there is no concern about “stealing a person”; this, rather, is
saving a person.

“However, some injustice and infringement of the parents’ rights is
still being perpetrated here. See Teshuvos Harashdam (Even Ha’ezer
123, cited in Ba’er Heiteiv ibid., 82,5) who discusses the case of a cou-
ple that divorced, leaving the woman with a son under six years old
who, according to halachah remains in her custody. The Rashdam
ruled that the mother could not take her son away to another city. He
writes,‘Is it conceivable that a man should have just one son to whom
he is bound heart and soul and when he sees that his son is gone he
may die from anguish, yet to argue that they nevertheless gave the

234 1 Medical-Halachic Responsa of Rav Zilberstein