Page 40 - The Freckled Eye - Book

Chapter 6 Back To The Cabin

August 1

I’d made it through. I got the apartment stuff moved and my trailer was filled
with the stuff I was taking to Tahoe. What I’d accomplished was amazing. It
was time to leave San Ramon. I had the trailer hooked up to the Denalhi and
I was off. What new life laid ahead, I didn’t know... I was following my heart. I
felt empowered, especially after feeling so out of control.

After a couple of hours of driving, I’d hit Auburn. Auburn was always the place
that my body would start to decompress from the Bay Area stress. It was the
change in elevation, the trees and the good old 35ft gold panner statue that
signaled to me, I was at the gate way to heaven. Tahoe was only an hour and
half more. The rest of the drive was beautiful. I was taken back for a
moment, when I became so emotional. Tears ran down my face. Not only
was Auburn the gate way to heaven, but it was the threshold of my old life, the
stress and effort it took to leave and the beginning of something new. I began
to really cry, the stress from everything was coming out. I did it. I did it! I was
really proud of myself.

As I reached the top of the Sierra’s I was getting close. I remember getting
emotional again. I said to God, thank you for helping me through this. Thank
you for getting me to where I was and thank you for my life. I remember being
so happy in that moment. As I finished my quick prayer of thanks, I made the
last turn. There is was, Donner Lake... and like a perfect moment in a movie
the most amazing song came on, as if on que. It was the song by Eddie
Vedder, Long Nights. It was a magical moment... and in it, I knew I was
supposed to be here. More tears came down my face. I’d made it!

I’d finally got unpacked, emptied the trailer and was cozy in the cabin. I was
by myself and loving my space. My brain sifted through everything I had
gone through to be there in that moment. I’d made it. As the month went on, Jay
was right about my left eye taking over. I was getting use to the loss of vision in my
right eye. It was a permanent reminder of what I’d gone through, a badge of courage. I
remember thinking, if I just keep both eye’s opened, I’d be good. I had a little laugh with
myself.

Since I started having eye vision issues, all I wanted was to somehow catch
any moment of feeling normal. Having an eye issue is not something you can