Page 82 - The Freckled Eye - Book

something Dr. Phan had said at an earlier appointment. She'd said, we want
to be careful that the bad cells don't leak out into the blood stream. All I could
think about was that I wanted this thing out!

Thank goodness mom was with me. She gently grabbed my arm and shared
a soft squeeze to let me know she was there and to offer some comfort with
this devastating news. Thank goodness she was there. I was breathing,
slowly and deeply taking this all in… again. In that moment, I could feel the
internal stress. This was a MAJOR letdown. I was deflating, my strength
holding me through was breaking down.

Dr. Phan asked if I had any other questions. I said no. She then added, she’d
have her assistant call me to reschedule the next eye procedure, once they
knew when we could move forward. I was in shock. I couldn't believe this
was happening.

I got dressed. Mom and I walked out to meet with Jay to deliver the
news. He'd gone back into the waiting room. Once we told him what
happened, he was in disbelief. I could tell he felt terrible for me. We all
hugged for a moment and then left the hospital. We'd decided to go to Harry's
Hauffbraugh to get a bit to eat and be together.

Nov 2

A call came in from Dr. Phans assistant to reschedule the eye procedure. It
th
was set for November 8 , my brother Charlie’s birthday. I thought maybe this
was some sort of a sign and felt a bit relieved. It was only a week away. I
tried to move past what had happened. I'd had a major emotional dump. But
thankful, an appointment was schedule right away, so I wouldn't dwell on
everything. I just tried to stay positive and have a good attitude. I kept
thinking to myself, for some reason, the procedure wasn’t supposed to
happen.

I remember reflecting on things in my past, that didn’t come to fruition. Then
remembering it was part of the process. Then later being thankful they
hadn’t. I’ve had many of these types of crazy things happen, so I decided to
commit that belief system to this situation. I must admit, it was probably a bit
easier to think like this, now that I knew I didn’t have to wait another 3 to 4
weeks for the rescheduled eye procedure. But hey, the way I look at it,
whatever it takes to get me through this.