Page 38 - eBook Living Water 2

The pastor returned and kneeled next to me. He asked if I
would accept Jesus as Lord and Savior of my life. My answer was
that I couldn’t do it. As he continued to ask me, I continued to say I
was unable to do it. Somehow, I knew that “I” couldn’t do it. I knew
that God was the only one who could ever do anything anymore in my
life. Looking back now, I realize that I probably sensed that he had
already come into my heart as Lord, even as I was going forward, and
maybe even had begun so prior to that. The pastor finally reworded
his question and asked if I was willing for Jesus to be in my life and
to that I said yes.

Through my tears of joy I saw such brightness filled with
peace and love. I felt enveloped by Jesus. It had been Him waiting
there all along; not just in those special spiritual experiences I’d had,
but in all my life’s experiences. He had always had plans for me and
His purpose was to keep drawing me closer to Him.

It seemed to me that most of the people in that church were
searching for answers in the Bible, in the Sunday worship, in their
liturgy or in their missions. It appeared that those things were more
important to them than a personal relationship with Him. The more I
heard scripture, the more validated I was that the Bible was directing
us to a total reliance on Him, living in us – the one who proclaimed
Himself to be the Living Word. People-friendly Fred loved going to
church. I believed that God wanted me to continue attending, not
only for Fred, but also to learn more of what this “church” thing was
all about.

After about seven years of us attending there, one of the
women that I had befriended was going through a messy divorce. She
had five children. Three were still at home; ages four, eight and
fourteen. The pastor offered to help her through her distress by
counseling with her. In the course of those sessions, she became
attracted to him, imagining that he was feeling the same way about
her. I was aware how that could happen in counseling and is natural
when someone takes the time to listen and care.