Page 44 - eBook Living Water 2

I paused for a bit and sat down against a tree to soak in all the
beauty. I began reminiscing about my past. I sensed a misty
movement out of the corner of my eye. I was feeling a bit dreamy. It
started with just a bush rustling, but then I “saw” or sensed a little girl
standing there. From somewhere inside I knew it was Carrie, our
infant daughter we had miscarried. It seemed like Jesus was standing
behind her, as she began to somehow communicate with me, not in
audible words, that she was fine and that she loved me. She assured
me that it wasn’t my fault that she hadn’t lived and that any guilt that
I felt about the three abortions causing my three previous miscarriages
was unfounded. It had been part of the Father’s plan that their time
here would be short.

I then seemed to “see” a misty movement alongside of her as
Jesus led two little children forward with His arms around them.
Carrie then let me know that all three of them were those I had
miscarried, and that they loved me and looked forward to us being
together again someday.

I returned to this spot for the next three days. Each day Jesus
brought one of the little ones that I had aborted and the message was
the same, “We love you, Jesus has forgiven you and we’ll be together
again one day.” I had experienced God’s love and forgiveness in a
profound way, lifting years of guilt and shame from my shoulders and
the painful feelings that I had buried deep inside. I gave all of them
names and the woods became my “Enchanted Forest”.

Note: God’s providence. I just found out several months ago,
after having a genetic blood test for a mold allergy, that I actually
have a mutated gene that makes me more susceptible to the toxins in
mold, but which also keeps my body from processing folic acid,
which is necessary for carrying a baby full term. So, indeed, in truth,
my abortions had no direct connection to the miscarriages!