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But that doesn't mean pastors don't face problems, said the Rev. MaryAnn Moman of
Nashville, Tenn., associate general secretary with the general board of higher education
and ministry for the United Methodist Church. Moman struggles with reconciling strict
Christian moral standards to human failings and admits the issues are complex. The
Methodist church, she said, expects ordained people - and laity- to live to the highest
ideals of the Christian faith. She finds accountability important. In the past, the church
was less willing to acknowledge that pastors were humans, she said. Moman sees today's
greater realism about pastors as a benefit, she said. "When pastors realize the frailty of
their own lives, it does make a difference in how they pastor others," she said. But, and
herein lies the rub, she also wishes pastors and other professionals, such as doctors and
lawyers, had the authority they once held, the kind of authority that often emanates from
looking invulnerable. "It's a loss to our society," Moman said.
For Morgenthaler, the problem is not with the brokenness of individuals or a loss of
pastoral authority, but with a Western church culture that has long demanded that pastors
be perfect. "We expect our leaders to be divine," she said. "We want our leaders to be
held to a higher standard." We may pay lip service to wanting a pastor who seems "real"
and approachable, but the bottom line, she said, is that same person is expected to be
above reproach.
New expectations: In expecting pastors to be bigger than life, we set them up for
failure, Morgenthaler said. Pastors can give beyond the point of burnout because they are
trying to live up to unrealistic standards. They then end up feeling justified in
"rewarding" themselves with illicit behavior, Morgenthaler said.
This may be what happened to the Rev. Ted Haggard, former president of the
National Association of Evangelicals and former pastor of New Life Church In
Colorado Springs, Colo., who visited a male prostitute while denouncing homosexuality
from the pulpit.
But the answer to the paradox of wanting humans to behave as if they were perfect
may lie in redefining how we perceive pastors as role models. "There are so many
wonderful ways to show love and mercy and kindness," Walters said. You can do this
without pretending to perfection, she said. She tries to model self-care, she said, through
rest, exercise and healthy eating, so that she can give lovingly of herself to others, calling
self-care contagious. She also tries to model forgiveness and grace, she said, and to
challenge unloving statements. "I'm called to speak the truth in love ... and that's really
hard sometimes," she said.
Dize models being the best Christian she can be, which includes being fully
human. "I preach love," she said. Holman encourages people with a past to go into the
ministry. "The Apostle Paul was killing Christians," Holman said. "The Lord used him."
Holman said his 30-year struggles with the temptations of drugs and alcohol - the urge to
"just do it" - show people there's no magic answer to resisting addiction. His ability to
turn to God makes it possible for him to lead a better, more loving life, he said, but
doesn't necessarily make it easy. "You take it a day at a time," he said. "I just have to
grind it out."