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Brain booster
Losing composure is often an instantaneous reaction that we have not “filtered” through our rational brain.
In fact, it’s the brain’s limbic system that drives the increased heartbeat, flushed face, sweaty palms, and
the flash of emotion that accompany a loss of composure. The limbic system is one of the most primitive
areas of the brain and it’s designed to detect threats of all kinds. A perceived lack of fairness, lack of
certainty, or lack of respect are all modern-day threats that our limbic system is attuned to. Once your
brain detects a threat and your amygdala (emotional response center) is activated, the prefrontal cortex
(PFC), which is responsible for rational thinking, is impaired. In this frame of mind, you are more likely to
miss details, draw incorrect conclusions, and make rash moves in an effort to regain control and obliterate
the threat. That could be detrimental to your relationships and reputation. The next time you start to “lose
it,” pause. Take some slow, deep breaths. This reduces the stress reactions. Notice what is upsetting
you. Ask yourself why you feel threatened. Put it in context so it doesn’t seem overwhelming. Tell yourself
that it’s time to be constructive. Talk your limbic system off the ledge so you can get back to using your
PFC.
Tips to develop Being resilient
1. Meeting resistance? Push through it. Hesitate in the face of resistance? Do you backpedal? Give
in too soon? Remember, resistance is normal, not abnormal. Some of the time it’s legitimate; most of
the time it’s just human nature. An unconscious defense mechanism. People resist until they
understand. They are just protecting territory. Don’t take it personally. Remind yourself what you are
there to do. Return to the facts and your agenda. Keep making the business case. Invite the resisters
in. Find out what’s causing them to behave that way. Maybe your audience isn’t ready to do what you
need; it’s not on their agenda. Help them understand what’s in it for them. Invite their ideas, input, and
critique. Listen. Adjust if you need to. Push ahead again.
2. Lose confidence when challenged? Prepare to present a strong case. Question your ability at
the first sign of a challenge? Tell yourself that others are better, smarter than you? That this is never
going to work? That your performance won’t be good enough and that you are bound to fail?
Confidence comes from having absolute belief in what you stand for. Being secure in yourself that
you’re on the right track. Being determined that this thing must get done. Feeling good about it. Do
you feel good about yourself? Can you confidently defend to a critical and impartial audience the
wisdom of what you’re doing? Work on presenting your case. Practice mental interrogation until you
can clearly state in a few sentences what you stand for. Use definite, direct language. People don’t
line up behind laundry lists or ambiguous objectives. Don’t make what you’re doing sound like a trial
balloon. Don’t be vague or tentative. Use the business case to support what you are asking for and to
explain how everybody can gain. Do your homework. Anticipate tough questions, attacks, and
countering views. Expect pushback. Rehearse how you will respond. Practice your style, tone, pace,
and volume. Plan as if you’re only going to have one shot.
3. Giving up after one or two tries? Try something different. If you find yourself stuck in a repeating
groove that’s not working, it’s time to switch approaches. To do something different. After all, if you
always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got. Don’t give up. Identify
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