Page 15 - HaMizrachi Pesach 5782 USA

Once again, I had to deal with the question of faith. Eliraz was a real ben
Torah. He made an agreement with his wife that when he returned home
from the army, he would first go to the beit midrash. He had such a deep
love of Hashem! When they came to inform me of Eliraz’s death, I closed
the door on them, and turned to the photo of Eliezer on the wall and
said “Eliezer, what did you do in Heaven? How did you let G-d do this?!”
I also closed the door on them, because I knew what I was going to hear. I
wanted another minute, another two minutes, as if my son was still alive
for that time, before hearing the dreadful news. I remember closing the
doors, and being conscious of every second, every moment that Eliraz was
still alive for me. When they told me the news, I said to the soldiers that
there’s someone else you need to inform. They didn’t understand – my
husband was dead, my children were in the house, who else was there to
inform? I said to them, “Go out into the courtyard, look up at the heavens,
and tell G-d that His son Eliraz has been killed.”

At this point, I realized how thankful I was to have grown up in a home
with such emotional faith. In certain homes people would start asking
questions: “what does this Rabbi say”, “this is Rabbi so-and-so’s approach
to suffering.” But fortunately I had rock-solid faith in my heart. I turned
to Hashem, and I said, “Hashem, I will never understand how You run the
world. Please teach me to love You even without all the answers! Please
teach me how to love You despite all that has happened to me!” When I
turned back and entered the house, and when I saw my children, I saw
the beginning of a path of hope. I suddenly said to myself: “I have more
children! Thank You, Hashem!” Imagine what I would have felt if I had
no more children! On the same day that they told me my son had been
killed, I was able to see not only what I was lacking, but also what I have.
And from that day, I really feel so close to Hashem that I can’t even put
it into words. I see Him in every small thing. If I trip while walking and
am able to catch myself, I say “Hashem, thank You for helping me.” If I Above: Bar Mitzvah celebration hosted by World Mizrachi for
am looking for my glasses at home and I find them, I say thank You to Miriam’s oldest grandson.
Hashem! I don’t need Hashem to split the sea for me; there are miracles Facing page, from top to bottom: Uriel Peretz z”l; Eliraz Peretz z”l;
every day. A child born healthy, marrying off children, getting through a drawing of Uriel; a quote of Uriel that has become famous,
a pandemic. Even when I was alone for Shabbatot and chagim during speaking of his love of Eretz Yisrael.

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