Page 45 - HaMizrachi Pesach 5782 USA

Rabbi David Rifka Rabbi Heshie

Block Sonenberg Billet

rops, treats, and Seder “schtick” can be hen my parents realized their dream inding ways to engage children on
effective ways of making the Seder fun of Aliyah and stopped hosting our Seder night is an age-old challenge. As
(even for adults!), but here are 3 tips to help broader family Seder (in Toronto, demonstrated by the four questions asked
make our Sedarim meaningfully engaging anyway), we started a new tradi- at the beginning of the haggadah – in our
P– adaptable for any age and background. Wtion – the nuclear family Seder. We Fhome the questions were asked in Hebrew,
1. Every participant (host, guest, child, adult) moved the entire Seder to the living room, cov- English, French, Yiddish, and Russian (when we
should be asked to prepare – not (only) a pre- ering the couches with sheets and adorning the had a Russian guest) – questions and answers
sentation and not (only) a D’var Torah – but a coffee table with the Seder plate. All the leaning are a time tested method of drawing children
question. A good, complex, thoughtful question is a lot more comfortable on a couch, of course; into the Seder.
about Pesach or Yetziat Mitzrayim that is born but, more importantly, it breaks us out of the Several Talmudic sources tell us of the impor-
out of true curiosity. No need to have an answer. subconscious patterns of weekly meals at the tance of strategies to engage children at the Seder:
Share the question at the Seder, and open it up for dining room table. It is palpably different. 1. The Tosefta (Pesachim 10:9) speaks of “steal-
discussion. The research – and my personal expe- The round-robin reading of the haggadah ing” matzot to keep the children awake, while the
rience – shows that having a forum in which we – with an emphasis on frequent translations Talmud (Pesachim 109a) reveals that Rabbi Akiva,
can ask tough, important questions that matter to ensure those with still-developing Hebrew who never canceled yeshiva studies, did so on the
to us helps us form a stronger religious identity and Aramaic skills are able to follow – allows for eve of Pesach so that the children should stay
and makes observance more meaningful. It’s more conversation during the natural breaks in awake. Do whatever it takes! At our Seder we dress
where true learning occurs. But there’s a catch – the flow. We return to the dining room table for up as Pharaoh, Moshe and Miriam and use toy
and that brings us to the next point. the meal, but then it’s back to the couches for frogs to engage our children and grandchildren.
afikoman, the rest of Hallel and the final songs.
2. Let’s focus less on the (important!) details 2. Rashbam and Rabbeinu Chananel add that
around recounting the story of Yetziat Mitzrayim Big Sedarim that include people from dif- the purpose of many aspects of the Seder is to
and more on the story itself. That means spending ferent generations and different backgrounds arouse the curiosity of the children to ask ques-
less time on why we wash during urchatz, why reflect the inclusive spirit of the Seder and allow tions. We also find other ideas like giving out nuts
we eat karpas, and how long the meal in Bnei us to pass on the tradition in a natural way. The to the children to be beneficial.
Brak actually lasted, and more time on what the small Sedarim we’ve recently had reflect the vital 3. The “four sons” at the Seder teaches the
night is about: The story of salvation, and how focus on the questions and needs of the next idea of inclusion. Not only the wise, but also the
that salvation continues to replicate itself in our generation. They have allowed us to have con- simple, the ignorant, and the wicked children
versations with our children that didn’t happen
own lives today. The questions we prepare should when we accommodated other generations’ and participate.
focus on that.
other families’ timelines and attention spans. When describing the commandment of “telling
3. Print out the Ramban’s commentary on Both environments create formative, engaging your child,” Maimonides makes the point of saying
Shemot 13:16 (ךְָל ר ֵמֹוא ה ָתּ ַעְו) – in any language – experiences of ךְָנ ִבְל ָתּ ְדַגּ ִה ְו, “and you shall tell “and here the child asks.” (Chametz and Matzah,
and learn it at the Seder together. Then, ask every- your children,” which is the essence of the Seder. Chapter 7) If our children don’t play an active role
one at the Seder: Where and why is it difficult to at the Seder, we do not fulfill the command!
see Hashem in our everyday life? Beginning now,
what can we do to try to see Hashem more often?
Rifka Sonenberg is the Yoetzet Halacha and
Director of the Canadian Yoatzot Initiative, based
Rabbi David Block is Head of School at Shalhevet in Toronto, Canada. She teaches and provides Rabbi Heshie Billet is the Rabbi Emeritus of the
High School in Los Angeles, California. academic support at Ulpanat Orot. Young Israel of Woodmere.

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