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external world. The over-riding need of you, as

an immature human organism, was to be loved

- to be unconditionally recognised and

accepted as a uniquely individual being – in

which case, once maturity had been achieved,

there would have been no conflict between

your perception of yourself (ego, ‘I’) and your

actuality (your real, authentic self).

But, life is not ideal. In this imperfect world,

the experience of unconditional love is the

exception rather than the rule. Any

withdrawal of affection – that is, conditional

love - implied that none of your other needs

were going to be met. You, as a child, would

have instinctively sensed this threat to your

survival; it formed the foundation on which

your adult feelings of panic and insecurity are

presently built. If, when you were a child, you

couldn’t get yourself loved unconditionally,

you will inevitably spend most of your adult

energy building up a personality structure –