Page 51 - WHACK35

BARK IN G Heading to Stereosonic©, and we have to perform a 3
know sniffer dogs are less
we got off the train at than 50% accurate” and he
U P THE Flemington Race Course was blah, blah, blah. Finally,
and found ourselves in a I said “Mighty awkward for
WRO NG f u n n e l a t t h e m a i n you, then! Seems as though
heading for the turnstiles to I don’t have anything on me”
TRE E hand over our tickets and and at that point he got really
join in the day’s events. Oops, aggressive so I shut up.
FO R M O S T O F U S it was then that we remem- When they were satisfied
- E N C O U N T E R I N G bered we’d forgotten to grab that I didn’t have anything
S NIF F E R DO G S a lighter, so we moved out of on my surface, they decided
‘You’ll have to come with us
the queue and bam, the
W HIL S T WAI T IN G police immediately honed
I N L I N E TO E N T E R in on us. We were after all, secondary search’. They led
O U R FAVO R ITE breaking the rules……....... me out and around to a side
S U MME R F E S T IVAL S , refusing to be herded. area, through some plastic 3 . RE VIE WIN G
L E AV E S U S S W E AT Y curtains, and into a small E FFEC TIVE NE SS O F
PAL ME D AND The police stopped us (me marquee: me and 2 hand-
and my female accomplice).
some uniformed men –
P O O P Y PA N T S - E D. . . She got the once over and multi-tasking as they popped D RUG
t hat wa s it – a ver y on their lighter shade of blue D E TEC TI O N
perfunctory duty performed , plastic, groping gloves. I PROG R AM S
there by our local police was instructed to strip in
force. However, that wasn’t front of these 2 chaps, in this IN CLU DIN G
the case in their handling little marquee, and I’m pretty ROADS ID E
of me, perhaps because I sure they made a comment
was talking back to them (a about not enjoying it as TE S TIN G AND
no-no with the lads in blue). much as I wasn’t enjoying the PROCE DU RE S FO R
experience.
TH E Y WE NT TH R O U G H I said “Oh my! I haven’t been D E PLOYIN G D RUG
M Y D I N O S AU R B AC K PAC K this shy taking off my clothes D E TEC TI O N
WI TH A F IN E TO OTH C O MB . in front of 2 men in a long
time”. Disappointingly, I AC TIVITIE S AT
It felt as though they were didn’t get a laugh. They then E V E NTS;
so trying to pin drugs on me went through all my clothes
but in their ‘thoroughness’ – while I was standing there
they missed the vodka I had naked, full bore naked – and
on me – a flask emptied into then they told me I was free
my water bottle (one small to go. Not once did I get an
victory?!). apology.
They took my phone apart - At the end of this encounter
took the battery out, pulled when they felt I was a safe
the phone case off. I had to bet to continue on to the
turn out my pockets, lift up party, I said to the lads in
my shirt, roll down the waist blue “That wasn’t the most
band on my pants, take my embarrassing moment of my
shoes and socks off – all this life”, to which one replied
in public, just to the side of “Well, what was?” I felt a
the punters queueing to get need to educate them and
into the festival. Well at least responded with “I’m being Sniffer
I gave them something to sarcastic...”
look at……!
It seemed to me as though It seemed to me that both Dogs
they were trying to entrap of those chaps were like
me with their dialogue. Styrofoam cups: useless, bad
They were saying “It’s ok, for the environment, single
tell us, we’ll go easier on use only and then discard.
you”. I countered with “You

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WHACK35_LYOT.indd 51 11-Oct-16 4:25:31 PM