Page 34 - Personal Column (Charles Belgrave)_Neat

knowing that the Kadhi would give judgement in his favour, according
used to visit families where there were girls of marriageable age and des­
to Islamic law, provided chat the prospective husband was a man of equal
cribe the looks and personal charms of the ladies—or the lack of them—
social standing as the girl. Shaikh Hamed once summoned the leading
to intending suitors. For this reason, in some families unmarried girls
Sunni Arabs to a meeting, at which I was present, to discuss the matter.
were made to veil when women from outside visited the house. Marriages
After a stormy session it was unanimously decided chat tribal custom, not
between members ot important families were arranged between the senior
religious law, should be followed.
male members of the two families. Girls used very rarely to refuse to
Divorces, which used to be so frequent in the past, occur less often
marry men who had been chosen for them. But nowadays things have
changed. Young women have far more to say in the matter than they now and a man who constantly changes wives becomes a subject for
bazaar gossip. When I was first in Bahrain I had an old Shia neighbour
used to and it sometimes happens that a girl ‘turns down’ an offer of
who often came to see me after dinner. Sitting on the roof in the moon­
marriage, although it is approved by her family.
light we used ‘to talk of many things: of shoes—and ships—and sealing-
When Marjorie was managing the schools she was sometimes asked
wax—of cabbages—and kings.. .’ My old friend was much married and
by parents of young men, or by the young men themselves, to recom-
had a herd of sons and daughters. Once I asked him how many times he
mend a bride, but she never assumed the responsibility for arranging a
had been married. He began laboriously counting his wives on his fingers.
marriage. When foreign school-teachers from Syria, Lebanon or Jordan,
‘The first,’ he said, ‘was Miriam bint Husain. I was very young when I
for whom she was responsible, wanted to marry in Bahrain, Marjorie
married her. Then Sakina bint Ali, then her sister, I forget her name,
used to write to the girl’s guardian giving details about the suitor and if
then Ayesha, and a girl from Katif, I didn’t keep chat one long, then there
the parents or guardian approved the marriage was carried out.
was the mother of Jaffar, then a Persian girl. . . .’ When he had got to
Girls used to be married at a very early age, sometimes when only
nearly twenty he gave up counting. ‘I am an old man,’ he said, ‘and my
twelve or thirteen years old. An Arab lady who was married at the age
memory is not what it was. There were others—quite a number—but I
of twelve told Marjorie how on her wedding night she was so terrified
cannot remember them, or their names. I still have four wives, but they
that she crept under the bed to hide from her husband, who was an
elderly man and had some difficulty in dragging her out. Today things arc not young.’ I asked him how many children he had. With some
difficulty he gave me a list of them. Considering the number of wives he
are different. Most girls do not marry till they are sixteen or seventeen
did not seem to have a large family. He guessed what I was thinking and
years old, and it is quite usual for them to defer matrimony until they h ave
completed their education. This modern point of view surprises people added, ‘I had many more children but in the old days numbers of them
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of the older generation. Young men who have been to school prefer to died at birth or in infancy.’
It is lawful for a Moslem to have four wives, but he must treat them
mar ry educated girls, and for a girl to have passed through secondary
equally in every way, which, as some husbands said to me, was difficult
school confers a certain matrimonial cachet.
as it was impossible not to prefer one to another. But today it is unusual
It used to be obligatory for a girl to marry her first cousin, if he asked
for her, and men were expected to do the same. But this custom is dying for young men to have more than one wife. A young Bahraini, discussing
the matter with me, said: ‘To have more than one wife causes a great deal
out and many educated young men now marry girls from abroad, from
of domestic trouble. Besides, it is very expensive. Now that we are
Syria and Lebanon. In some of the leading families girls are not allowed
educated and our wives, too, are educated, we regard them as companions
to marry outside the family, which ensures that property and money
does not go to strangers. There is no Islamic law laying down that girls and we only want one wife.’ Marjorie used to hear the women’s views
on m arriage. All of them said that they would prefer to be a husband’s
may not marry outside the family or tribe and there were often serious
quarrels when a father or guardian of a girl arranged a match with an sole wife, but rather than remain unmarried they would gladly share a
husband with another wife—or even with three other wives. In Bahrain
outsider, if a man of the tribe wanted to marry her. We frequently had
cases on this subject in court and they were difficult to deal with, for they a woman who is not married, or has not been married, is a rarity. There
roused very violent feelings among the tribal Arabs of Bahrain. The were a few old spinsters belonging to wealthy families whose male re­
lations were so avaricious that they never arranged marriages for them,
father of the girl would ask to have the case sent to the religious
court
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