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The Red Well-Read Reader



        Story 219

                                            Overtaking The Penobscots


        General Scott summoned every officer to plot a plan to capture the Penobscots.

        “Because our horses are too tired . . .  even to trot, he said, “we will sneak attach
        in yachts, slowly at five knots.”


        While the Indians were dining on beans, kumquat, and whatnot, Scott sailed out

        and overtook the Penobscots, firing not a single shot.







        Story 220

        Scotch


















                                     Scotty’s face always had a blotch

                                     His clothes always had a splotch


                                     And every job he ever had he’d botch

                                     Therefore he never moved up a notch


                                                  Why?

                                     Johnnie Walker Scotch












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