Page 195 - TRWRR 6-8-2017_Neat

The Red Well-Read Reader

Story 350

Their Guilt Is Moot

A "crazy coot" and a "big galoot" were ac•cused of stealing

loot. The case was widely bruited. The public loudly hooted.

The two they wanted uprooted.

In court, the judge asked the brutes with whom were they in cahoots, the

whereabouts of the loot, and the reason they had to shoot. They answered, "We

didn't need any recruit to help us spend the loot. And we don't give a hoot about

winning this here dispute. Anything that we say you'll refute or at•tempt to

confute."

Then the judge threatened to dress them in a zebra suit and scoot them off to

jail by the shortest route. During recess, however, they swallowed a piece of

tainted (poi•son•ous) fruit. So whether they were actually guilty is a question to

be left forever moot.

Story 351

The Fuhrer Causes a Furor

Although Adolph Hitler was Germany's Fuhrer, his mind was
in the sewer. He said at once he wanted his country's

e•co•nom•ic woes to cure and to make his Ar•y•an race pure.

So he devised the di•a•bol•i•cal plan to make another race

fewer. Con•se•quent•ly this started World War II by inciting

the West into furor.

-175-