Page 19 - Toast of the Remote Hosts

Roman in Place. Find a sheet, make a toga. Harvest some leaves from whichever house plant you think looks like laurel
to make a crown, gold spray paint optional but encouraged for maximum visibility. Not sure you have a white sheet? Well, you know not all togas were white. Have you ever seen “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum”? Refreshments can be bowls of grapes, and wine in goblets.
Outer Space. Ironic, huh. No astronaut suit? Anything silver, or spray-painted silver will do. Wrap some Tootsie Rolls
in foil and call them Space Food Sticks. You’ll also want Easy Cheese in a can or whatever plastic cheese food you can find. How about sugaring the rim of your glass with Tang crystals and mixing up a Bronx Cocktail (1 oz. gin, 1 oz. orange juice, 1/2 oz. dry vermouth, 1/2 oz. sweet vermouth; shake, strain.) Let’s call it The 5:00 Ration. Or fill your sippy cup with a Moonraker Cocktail from 1930’s Savoy Cocktail Book (equal parts brandy, Quinquina, peach brandy, plus a dash of absinthe; shake vigor- ously and strain.)
Hello, Walls. Your party, just like you at this point, can be just a bit nutty. It’s not a stretch, believe me. This one is a piece of cake. Monty Python’s Mr. Gumby is a good look. Snacks: Bits and ends. Peanut butter on a cracker. Watch beer fly from your friends’ noses when you model the squirrel teeth.
A Night in the Tropics. Turn your next meet-up into a swinging tiki lounge, complete with a bunch of cheap exotica from the 99c store, or on second thought, don’t. This is a terrible, lame idea for a party. Promise us you won’t.