Page 3 - #LoveWarrior

Introduction

All is fair in love and war.

When I first heard this phrase, I remember thinking who would put the word love and war in the same sentence? But
as time went on, it became clear — because both require warriors.

I have been a wedding planner for several years now and have seen up close what true love and commitment look
like. I have also had my own experiences with love and love lost. Our experiences are where we realize the depth of
our strength. This is where we learn the innermost parts of our being we try to hide; parts where a relationship acts
as a spotlight to both things magical and wounded. Our emotional intelligence is tested. Our character is tested. And
for those of us who can say I really loved. I held nothing back, and I…truly loved, we know the battleground that it
took to uphold that truth. It isn’t easy. It is nothing short of an intentional fight. One where we have become a
warrior for love.

Acknowledging our human design to crave relationships is part of the groundwork for becoming a love warrior.
Embracing this is crucial. Not only is companionship part of our wiring, but it is also an honorable desire. However,
navigating this is where a lot of us find ourselves in uncharted — and sometimes undesired — territory.

The Dilemma
How satisfied are you right now in your love life? If you’re like so many of us (myself included), you’ve either
struggled, are struggling, or will struggle in love. When relationships fall apart, a brokenness occurs. Loneliness
starts to overwhelm our every breath, leaving us in a state of disbelief and hopelessness. Paralyzed with grief, we
experience a loss of strength, a loss of hope, a loss of laughter, and a loss of the childlike wonder with which we first
approached love. The peace once found in sharing our life with someone is now gone, and in its place, is a gashing
wound filled with discouragement and pain. Sounds like death, doesn’t it? Well, it is – it’s the death of a
relationship.

Now, not only are we thrown into grieving the relationship, but we are now presented with the possibility of
grieving a lost identity as a result of forming our own around them.

The Solution
Knowing who we are is crucial to the success of dating — before, during and after. And knowing whose we are
(eternally) is even more critical. We are the adored child of the Most High, God, the Almighty. We are the beloved
bride to Christ Jesus. We are the cherished friend of the Holy Spirit. This means we have been adopted into God's
family. Accepting this transforms the impossible to the possible; it allows us to walk forward in a spirit of power and
love.

Educator, presenter and retired marriage family therapist Sharon Hukill, reveals in all thirty-two years in practice,
identity identification, acceptance and understanding were, more often than not, at the center of her conversations:

The core of identity I believe is the essential part of a person that was established even before their birth. I believe
this truth comes from the belief that an all knowing, all powerful and all loving God created them. When a person
knows and accepts the truth their Creator gave them their unique personal attributes and personality, they then can
in partnership with God know they have an identity that is rock solid. Their identity can not be added to or taken
away because it just is. Having this security can lead a person to have peace, perspective, and knowledge they were
created for eternal reasons and a fulfilling life now.

Even with this knowledge the moments following a separation can be discouraging. But, discouragement doesn't
have to be the end of it. Dr. David Jeremiah, author and pastor, describes discouragement as something that selects
its own facts. He elaborates, “When we are here, we tend to magnify the bad and minimize the good.” I thought,

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