Page 159 - Bridget Jones's Diary - by Helen FIELDING

8.15 p.m. Humph. Cannot locate operating instructions.

8.35 p.m. Hah! Found operating instructions under Hello! Right. 'Programming
your video is as easy as making a phone call'. Excellent.

8.40 p.m. 'Point the remote control at the video recorder.' V. easy. 'Turn to
Index.' Aargh, horror list with 'Timer controlled simultaneous HiFi sound

recordings', 'the decoder needed for encoded programmes', etc. Merely wish to
record Penny Husbands-Bosworth's rant, not spend all evening reading treatise
on spying techniques.

8.50 p.m. Ah. Diagram. 'Buttons for IMC functions'. But what are IMC

functions?

8.55 p.m. Decide to ignore that page. Turn to 'Timer-controlled recordings with
VideoPlus': '1. Meet the requirements for VideoPlus.' What requirements? Hate
the stupid video. Feel exactly the same as feel when trying to follow signposts
on roads. Know in heart that signposts and video manual do not make sense but

still cannot believe authorities would be so cruel as to deliberately dupe us all.
Feel incompetent fool and as if everyone else in world understands something
which is being kept from me.

9.16 p.m. 'When you turn your recorder on you must adjust the clock and the
calendar for precise TIMER-controlled recording (don't forget to use the quick-

adjust options to switch between summer and winter time). Clock menus called