Page 187 - Bridget Jones's Diary - by Helen FIELDING

hours. Can't do it. Help, help. Have suddenly had brainwave: ring Mum.

10 a.m. Mum was brilliant. 'Darling,' she said. 'Of course you haven't woken
me. I'm just leaving for the studio. I can't believe you've got in a state like this
over a stupid man. They're all completely self-centered, sexually incontinent and
no use to man nor beast. Yes, that does include you, Julio. Now come along,

darling. Brace up. Back to sleep. Go into work looking drop-dead gorgeous.
Leave no one-especially Daniel-in any doubt that you've thrown him over and
suddenly discovered how marvelous life is without that pompous, dissolute old
fart bossing you around and you'll be fine.'

'Are you all right, Mum?' I said, thinking about Dad arriving at Una's party
with asbestos-widow Penny Husbands-Bosworth.

'Darling, you are sweet. I'm under such terrible pressure.'

'Is there anything I can do?'

'Actually, there is something,' she said, brightening. 'Do any of your friends
have a number for Lisa Leeson? You know, Nick Leeson's wife? I've been
desperate to get her for days. She'd be perfect for 'Suddenly Single.''

'I was talking about Dad, not 'Suddenly Single,'' I hissed.

'Daddy? I'm not under pressure from Daddy. Don't be silly, darling.'

'But the party . . . and Mrs. Husbands-Bosworth.'

'Oh, I know, hilarious. Made a complete silly fool of himself trying to attract
my attention. What did she think she looked like, a hamster or something?
Anyway, must run, I'm frighteningly busy but will you think who might have a
number for Lisa? Let me give you my direct line, darling. And let's have no

more of this silly whining.'