Page 237 - Bridget Jones's Diary - by Helen FIELDING

no means stilted. I was asking the vicar what he thought about the miracle of

Indian statues of Ganesh the Elephant God taking in milk. The vicar said the
word in ecclesiastical circles was that the miracle was due to the effect on
terracotta of a hot summer followed by cold weather.

As the meal broke up and people started to make their way downstairs for the

dancing, I was thinking about what he said. Overcome with curiosity, and keen,
also, to avoid having to do the twist with Geoffrey Alconbury, I excused myself,
discreetly taking a teaspoon and milk jug from the table, and nipped into the
room where the presents had - rather proving Una's point about the showy
element of things - already been unwrapped and put on display.

It took me a while to locate the terracotta oil burner, as it had been shoved
near the back, but when I did I simply poured a little milk onto the teaspoon,
tilted it and held it against the edge of the hole where you put the candle in. I

couldn't believe it. The Essential Oil Burner was taking in milk. You could
actually see the milk disappearing from the teaspoon..

'Oh my God, it's a miracle,' I exclaimed. How was I to know that was when

Mark Darcy would be bloody well walking past?

'What are you doing?' he said, standing in the doorway.

I didn't know what to say. He obviously thought I was trying to steal the
presents.

'Mmm?' he said. 'The Essential Oil Burner I bought your mother is taking in
milk,' I muttered sulkily.

'Oh, don't be ridiculous,' he said, laughing.

'It is taking in milk,' I said indignantly. 'Look.' I put some more milk on the
teaspoon, tilted the spoon and sure enough the oil burner slowly started to take it
in.