Page 31 - English Grammar and Composition-Student Textbook short

Study Section 8: Adjectives and Adverbs vs. Strong Verbs

8.1 Connect

Choosing the right words can make the difference between flat, tedious writing and writing that sings
a clear, sweet song. Adjectives and adverbs are fine in moderation, but strong verbs will propel your
writing forward and engage your reader in a sensory adventure. Flowery or distracting language can
be just as risky, taking the reader right out of the story. When you feel an overwhelming need to
spice up your writing with more adjectives or adverbs, take a closer look at your verbs.

8.2 Using Strong Verbs in Writing

Show, don’t tell
Every writer knows this, but sometimes it’s hard to figure out exactly what that means. The verb “to
be” and all its forms often takes a writer down the “telling” path. Here’s a blatant example:

“The mountain was big.”—How big? Bigger than a car? A house?

I’m telling you something here about a mountain, but not showing you anything at all. Here’s how a couple of
strong verbs can show how big that mountain really is:

“Mt. Rainier thrusts its stony, snow-capped peak more than 14,000 feet into the brilliant blue skies of
western Washington, where it reigns as the tallest mountain in the lower 48 states.”

One more:

“The movie was great.”—Really? You wouldn’t know it from that sentence. How about:

“The new film struck a chord with the audience, who gasped in horror over the riot scene, but sniffled when
Khama spoke passionately about his love for both his country and his wife.”

But wait, there’s as an adverb in that sentence: passionately. True, but I believe this is one of those instances
when replacing the verb “to speak” with a synonym would only distract the reader, rather than enhance the
sentence. See what you think.

“The new film struck a chord with the audience, who gasped in horror over the riot scene, but sniffled when
Khama…

• … expressed his love for both his country and his wife.”
• … stated his love for both his country and his wife.”
• … declared his love for both his country and his wife.”

In each of these examples, I found the replacement verb distracting, so I stuck with my original verb: “to
speak”. The problem was that just “speaking” didn’t seem to provide enough of a contrast to gasping in
horror, so I added “passionately” to heighten the difference. Adverbs and adjectives are not bad in and of
themselves. Words are a writer’s palette and they come in all colors, but writers should choose carefully, not
rely on the default settings.

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