Page 40 - FLL Virtual Binder 2018

Trigger Phrases
Avoid trigger phrases that may spark a defensive reaction and send the dialogue on a destructive path.
Ø Avoid accusatory phrases such as “What you should have done is...,” “What you’re saying doesn’t make sense”, or “You just need to calm down”. Instead say, “I’m going to do what I can to help you”, or “Help me to understand the situation”.
Ø Avoid absolutes such as “always” and “never” that invite an argument. Instead say “often” or “seldom”.
Ø Instead of asking “What is your problem,” say, “Please tell me what happened.”
Ø Use “and” instead of “but” so not to negate the phrase preceding it. Avoid phrases like this example, “I think your suggestions are great, but I’ll need to verify the information.”
... What are some trigger phrases or words that spark a defensive reaction in you?
Positive Language
When speaking with people, always ask yourself:
1. “Whatistheimpactthiswillhaveontheotherperson?” 2. “Isthereabetter,morepositivewaytosayit?”
Ø Use language to create a positive image
Ø Put yourself in the other person’s position and think how they interpret what
you’re saying.
Ø Never lie. Be truthful in a collaborative, constructive way.
Ø Always accentuate what you can do, instead of what you can’t do.
Ø Avoid words such as “maybe” and “can’t” and focus instead on words that demonstrate concern and promise action. Eg. Instead of “Your report should be correct now,” say “Your report is correct now.” This wording confirms that you have taken action to correct the problem.
...Think of an example where you did not say something in a positive way and it had a negative result. Describe how it could have been expressed more constructively.
Front Line Leadership Module: Communicate to Lead
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