Page 12 - December 2022 News On 7

FAITH IS A RISKY ADVENTURE
BY REV. TRACY B RICHARDS
MANAGING BURNOUT & THE ART OF SAYING “NO”
“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn
from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My
burden is light.” ~ Matthew 11:28-30

I have a confession to make: I can’t do it all.
Even though I love saying yes… Yes to God. Yes to people. Yes to new ideas that might turn out to be great accomplishments… I’ve learned
that saying ‘yes’ means more when it’s balanced by the proper use of the word ‘no’. In fact, a well-placed ‘no’ may be the most liberating
word missing from our vocabularies. And not just saying ‘no’ to others. We need to learn to say ‘no’ to ourselves, too.
Admittedly, this is not a new revelation on my part. In fact, I can recall reaching a point of burnout more than once in my life and career.
Even though I keep promising myself that I’ll try to take on less, I often ignore the warning signs and continue, full steam ahead.
Eventually, I reach the point of feeling overwhelmed and frustrated (I call this the “crispy” stage, just before burnout sets in) and it’s only a
matter of time before I need to shut everything down because I’m literally running on empty.
The past few months are a perfect example. Not only was it one of the busiest wedding seasons ever, I had the added challenge of running
my campaign for Council. Even though I had prepared myself for an intense schedule of doorknocking, and running back and forth to
Toronto for weddings, I had forgotten to take into consideration that everything else in my life would not miraculously ‘stand still’. I had
also underestimated how much energy it would take, not to mention the patience and self-care needed to cut myself some slack when I felt
I wasn’t getting enough done.
Going into it, I was pretty optimistic. Wedding season and the campaign would both come to a close at the end of October and I could look
forward to having a nice break (maybe even a vacation!). For the most part, I thought I was managing it pretty well but I was definitely
feeling the stress.
On October 24th, I had finally reached the ‘finish line’. The campaign was done and I only had one more wedding to officiate. I was
exhausted but grateful to have made it through and I promised myself not to take on anything new for the rest of the year.
Right around that time, however, there was a sudden surge of people in my life reaching out for help with very troubling and/or tragic
situations. Everywhere I looked, there seemed to be one devastating crisis after another. It was a lot to deal with and, while I was totally
depleted, I felt I had no choice but to step in and help.
Like many Christians, I’m pretty good at saying ‘no’ to unGodly or sinful things but when people need help, I find it really hard to say ‘no’.
Because of this, I often spin my wheels out of control, saying ‘yes’ to things that can end up being destructive to my health and well being.
Instead of stepping back and assessing whether God has actually called me to help, my default thought is that “If I don’t do it, who will?”
Thankfully, a conversation with my pastor helped me realize something very significant:
I’m not God’s only option.
Just because I happen to be at the ‘right place at the right time’ doesnt mean that I have to take responsibility for every situation I may find
myself in. Whether it’s my momentary desires or someone else’s demands, saying ‘no’ is often a necessary first step in saying a faith-filled
‘yes’ to God’s greater plan… a plan that might have nothing to do with me.

While my heart may be in the right place, my involvement won’t be helpful unless I’m coming from a place of spiritual discermnment vs
trying to be a “saviour’.
As we know, there is only one Saviour, and it ain’t me :)
As the holiday season approaches, I know there are many of us that may be prone to taking on too much so here’s are my tips to avoid
burnout (and the “saviour trap”) in the future:
Slow down enough to be mindful of my choices, behaviours, and the emotions or false beliefs that motivate them (Using the F.A.S.T.E.R
scale*)
Set boundaries that allow me to balance caring for others with practicing self-care
Give myself time to weigh options and listen for God’s guidance by saying “maybe” or “no” before saying yes
Make sure I’m processing my emotions with accountability partners such as friends/family/counselor/pastor
I hope you enjoyed this post. If you would like more information on my coaching or mentoring services, please contact me at
tracy@xolifecelebrations.com.
May God Bless You,
Tracy

*The Genesis Process has a check-in tool called the F.A.S.T.E.R Scale: Forgetting Priorities; Anxiety; Speeding Up; Ticked Off; Exhaustion;
Relapse

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For information about The Genesis Process visit https://www.genesisprocess.org/
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