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COmpLex sImpLICITY

Lessons in love (and life) from ‘The Bachelor’

By peter dABBene relationships: has since become a catch-all for every ongoing suitorship) is apparently not a
1) Love is dangerous. scummy behavior one can imagine, firm enough method of rejection, leav-
Being born during a certain era Relationships on reality shows hap- from two-timing another love interest ing hope in the hearts of these people
sometimes allows you a unique oppor- pen at an accelerated pace, and there’s to coming on the show to advance one’s for just a bit more screen time. Better
tunity to ride a cultural wave, something no better way to quickly figure out if you music, comedy, or wrestling career. are the show’s occasional masterpieces
you might talk about in your golden care about someone than to put them One can imagine a job interview involv- of rejection, with the dismissed cast
years as “the golden years.” People who in danger. Past dates on The Bachelor ing two fervent Bachelor fans, going member left alone on a remote island,
came of age in the Sixties had the hippie have included skydiving, bungee jump- something like this: cliff, or glacier, as The Bachelor (or
experience, but having come along a bit ing, and confronting fears of all sorts, “So, what are the reasons you’re seek- Bachelorette) and camera crew depart
later, I might someday reminisce about with the nearly scripted result being ing this job today?” via helicopter. It makes for good televi-
two things—first, the internet revolu- a closer bond between the two partici- “Umm… the right reasons?” sion, and leaves no doubt—nor means
tion, and what it was like to suddenly pants. Let’s face it, someone would have “Oh my God! Did you see last week’s of passage—for the rejected suitor.
be able to communicate with people to be pretty horrible to justify not hug- show? You’re hired!” The Bachelor is still going strong,
around the world, instantly; and sec- ging them as they tearfully confront 4) The English language is tricky. and as long as the spectacle of human
ond, that I witnessed the birth of reality their worst fears. This situation typi- Personal pronouns are not a strong behavior continues to entertain (and
television. cally leads to doe-eyed expressions of point among the cast of The Bachelor, educate), I’ll keep watching. When
Mostly due to exhaustion with sit- how amazing a person is because he or with dates regularly described in tor- this season’s done, there won’t be time
coms and hourlong dramas, as well as she spoke with calm reassurance while tured terms, such as “He and I’s date for withdrawal pains—season 4 of the
YARDVILLE CYO
the physical and mental exhaustion of rappelling down the side of a building. was fantastic,” and “Him and I have a show’s spinoff, Bachelor in Paradise,
wanting to just plop in front of the TV, There are also plenty of metaphors, lot more in common.” Added bonuses starts in early August, and I just found
regardless of what’s on, I was there at with observations like, “jumping off a include made-up words like “disingen- out that Beauty and the Geek has Brit-
BACK TO SCHOOL!
the beginning. I’d seen the Louds on cliff is just like falling in love.” Ok, sure. uine,” and debates over misused ones ish and Australian versions that I’ve
An American Family, but that was just Or it’s just like falling. like a recent thriller about “quirks” vs. never seen. With regard to television, at
a trial run. In 1992, I watched MTV’s 2) The spectrum of love. “quarks” vs. “corks.” least, it seems I’ll never lose touch with
The Real World, and in 2000, I watched In recent decades, we’ve learned to 5) Better to end it definitively. reality.
the first season of Survivor, recording it diagnose autism and other disorders not A semi-regular occurence on The Peter Dabbene’s website is peterdab-
on a VCR and fast forwarding through just in black-and-white, binary, yes or no Bachelor involves an eliminated contes- bene.com, and his previous Hamilton
commercials, feeling like the king of the terms, but as a spectrum of associated tant sneaking back to the Bachelor’s res- Post columns can be read at mercer-
world. behaviors, ranging from mild to severe. idence and asking for another chance. space.com. His idea for a writing real-
Pre - School Program
In 2002, The Bachelor debuted, In the world of The Bachelor, love is a I attribute this to a mistake in the way ity show, with exciting video footage of After School
marking the beginning of a period that similar disorder, with a graduated series these contestants are eliminated; the writers sitting at their desks, is not yet in
for me, is—and I hope, will forever of checkpoints eventually leading to a refusal to grant a rose (required for production. Program
remain—the high-water mark of low full-on, all-out pronouncement of affec-
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The Littlest Groom, Beauty and the Geek, in love with you,” or “I’m pretty sure YARDVILLE CYO Yardville Elementary, Yardville

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August 2017 | Hamilton Post47